I wouldn't waste a bottle of Two Buck Chuck on braising Ann Coulter.

Jewel had my favorite set. Obviously very few of them wrote their own jokes without help, but her timing and delivery were flawless.

“I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.
But also, Ann Coulter’s a cunt.”

She is a despicable human being. Fuck her. Oh, hey everyone!!! Today’s non Ann Coulter update (that worthless piece of shit): It’s 5:08 PM in Dubai and the Heat Index is currently 121 degrees, or as the rest of the world says, 50 Fahrenheit. You could easily roast Ann Coulter on a spit in this weather. Also, here’s a…

Hooray for adulting. Doesn’t this all sound like SO. MUCH. FUN. :(

I’m gonna watch Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo. Like, a lot. Turbo dances on the goddamm ceiling. There will be Nutter Butters and blankets and I have a couple leftover hydrochodone’s. So, see you on the hib jib.

The Nice Guys was enjoyable.

CAROL! It’s BACK! Hahahahahahaha oh Bobby, you little scoundrel.

I’m going to get stoned and eat tacos.

I like the dress on her. Not many could pull it off but I thought it looked good on her. *Kanye shrug*

Right? She was smooth as a newborn baby's bottom, her hair looked gorgeous and her makeup colors were perfection. I liked the dress on her just because the rest of her looked so flawless.

BUT! Carole’s makeup/facial enhancements looked better than they have in years! Vanity lighting?

idk, i kinda liked it! people were saying it was ugly and that it looked like the matron of honor dress from odd mom out on twitter. she kept responding to people by tweeting “alexander mcqueen” like a pokemon.

Sometimes when I am at my kids’ school, I feel like I missed the memo on what to wear. On Wednesdays, we wear pink workout pants.

I think he took a long walk in the desert and was very thirsty

He might be hung like a can of Monster.

Well he is a little drunken troll.

She’s a silly little joke to me now.

I saw her a million years ago at Warped Tour in SF when she was dating the lead singer of Sum 41 (ah to be 19 in 2003 again...) and I remember two things:

Things are getting worse. It started with Reagan. Prior to that, being reasoned, informed, and educated was a good thing. Now its akin to sacrificing infants to Satan during an extended family Thanksgiving celebration.

Signed,
46 and scared