And involves copious amounts of sweat-both boobage and otherwise. Like, I put on a sportsbra as my workout. Then I take it off to cooldown. Then I never exercise again.

your anatomy must work different than mine. getting into a sports bra is a 15-20 minute procedure.

A bra is the very last thing I put on before leaving my house (well, the bra and then the shirt) and it’s always the first thing I take off when I walk in to the house.

mountain dew = the best

I thought you said this was about the Marlins. I wasn’t expecting to see the Twins.

Pro tip, everyone: Don’t fry in olive oil because it has too low a smoke point. Use peanut or canola oil to fry so you don’t stink up your apartment and set off the smoke detector.

I texted two friends, emailed one relative, and called my parents about it right after you sent me that. The world changed when I was asleep and was irrevocably different when I awoke and I FREAKING MISSED IT.

Along with the camp, there’s a certain amount of nostalgia. I remember watching this scandal unfold in real time with my mom.

It’s weird to me how young his hands look compared to his face. That’s the opposite of many people I know.

There’s some whore doovrahs in the fridge and some beer-mosas in the cooler out back.

I’m a sucker for Vince Vaughan. Big and tall and cute.

This guy is replacing the eagle as the symbol of Trumpmerica.

You mean one of her Made in China dresses?

Implying that the childless are missing out on some deep life secret is alternately rude and cruel, depending on circumstances.

Conversely, I’m pretty sure I stopped living when I had kids.

So, hindsight and all that jazz, how did you do in the end? I won one league and was dumped in the first round of another. The league I won, my first 3 draft picks were Gurley, Hopkins and McCoy. At least I got one stud to carry the team.

Imma need Stassi to step it the F up and save this burning dumpster fire aka my former favorite show.

How about a boycott of “Dr.” Phil altogether. And throw Dr. Oz into the mix for good measure.

Meditation is one way. My way was to basically redecorate my apartment.

Jesus and after she mangled that metaphor she resuscitated its corpse two more times in the same episode. STAHP.