Schumer has been sliding down my respect gauge for a few months now.

I’m lovin’ it

My face over the course of that went from delight to disgust to horror in such rapid succession that I ended up looking like The Scream.

I fast forwarded through all of Shannon’s scenes last season. And if she does another on-camera enema, I’ll start doing it again.

I think last season was her first, but maybe someone more knowledgeable can confirm or deny that. That’s cool that Meghan wants a baby so bad, but there is no way this relationship is lasting. He was playing golf while his wife was getting a medical procedure ffs!

Right? It’s the most try hard story line. She’s young, fit, and healthy. I know last season they brought up she might have fibroids or something, but the whole reason for this season’s story line is her husband had a fucking vasectomy. IT’S NOT THE SAME, MEGHAN.

so i chose to watch the Teen mom OG premier last night instead but I HAVE THOUGHTS ANYWAY

The Hol(e)y Trinity?

you know Daniel is super bad in bed, so for him, a virgin is ideal b/c they’ll have no idea how wrong it all is.

Fuck, I’m a statistic.

So, according to this chart, cats are the cause of divorce.

Coincidence that it's shaped like a cat? I THINK NOT.

So in other words, pretty much everyone.

“While we’re being honest, I’ll admit that I frequently employ the term “colored people.”

Love this. Which reminds me: See Keanu if you haven’t done so already—it’s great.

There’s something about Atlanta as a city that just operates like a giant black hole sucking the entire universe towards it to where everyone has to end up getting a connecting flight to a Delta hub.

Kelly pissed me off when she played the “I’m a mother!” card. No one is allowed to criticize her simply because she squirted a human from her body? And let us talk about her kid. Oh, yes, I am going there. That girl is whiny, spoiled, undisciplined. All traits I could put up with if she was a sparkplug like Melania.

You mean when they are mathematically eliminated, or on opening day?

What’s nice about Atlanta sports in Nov/Dec is it being warm enough to drink outside on the bar patio knowing you aren’t missing anything interesting on the TVs inside.

The Falcons are the TGI Fridays of NFL franchises.