I can’t imagine Kelly signing up for this again after watching herself on TV. But I expect she will, because they are all cuckoo-nanners.

Jez rn

That was my solution last night and I’m feeling the repercussions. But drinking my calories might be my only chance at survival.

I realized that implication as I was about to hit “publish” and decided to roll with it 😎

You Earth angel! You just reminded me I have edibles stashed away in the fridge! #notallheroeswearcapes

OMG YALL

I aspire to have a sleek mid-century modern vibe at my house (slowly but surely from thrift and estate sales), but that hammam?? Gimme.

Your coworker knows what’s up.

HIP HOP BARBECUE?! I love you and I will be torturing my husband with this station soon.

My 90s R&B Pandora station gets A LOT of play when I’m drunk. And when I’m not drunk.

You reminded me that I have toasted smore flavored ice cream in the freezer! Praise be! I, too, shall enjoy it in bed.

OMG I literally cut my hair off yesterday and the stylist talked me out of bangs.

Abreeva is a fucking joke. Does that actually work for some people?? I’ve had great success with Acyclovir, thank God, bc my entire lip swells to a comical size if I don’t catch it early enough.

Yay! Congratulations!!

I told my husband anything over 1300 sq ft and we would also have to budget for house cleaners.

Preach.

My family has a few rich person Democrats, and every once in a while I tease my dad about it. Eye roll accompanied by “There’s nothing worse than a snobby liberal.” But there totally are a million things worse than a snobby liberal!

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO LIVE WITH THIS??

Thanks!