I assume that is a picture of the water in Rio.

Have you considered bottoming out? It makes everybody much more impressed with future mediocrity.

he likes to eat diarrhea on a hot dog

Man named Dick Fiddler: I demand you respect where I came from.

If Puig keeps up this pace it shouldn’t be long before we see him in AA.

How about crackers for sandwich breads, like in Lunchables?

Sounds like Friday at my house. Sobbing, followed by butter noodles.

“Worst quarterback in the NFL,” [Michael] says.

+1 eye of the pyramid

he threatened to call the White House and have them all fired — and made bizarre statements about Al Qaeda

What are the odds he takes a shortcut and becomes a policeman?

Big deal. I’ve been watching white America go downhill for years.

“It must really suck to be friends with Gilbert Arenas.”

And many Mets fans made him feel at home.

I spent the last few weeks thinking of a tree that we used to have in the backyard of our old house. All those hours I spent under that tree looking up as the sunlight dripped like honey through the leaves. When the thin cold wire of time wasn’t pressing pushing tight against my neck. There was time back then. There’s…

i miss the old bill simmons

Yes, it’s what Harambe would have wanted.

It’s just as satisfying to shit talk a cheetah whether you have kids or not.

So to clarify, we can ONLY use this on cats? Asking for a friend.

Proving that no one has more experience handling foul balls than an old Athletic supporter.