Lololol, "lab". Like Goop involves any science. "We hooked the amethyst dildo up to the beep machine and it has like... Very negative vibrations! It needs more essential oils to purify it's chakras."

I’m totally devastated Kanye will not be Kancelled.

As can I, it’s just sometimes I appreciate the subtlety of a vape pen when traveling or in public (or at my parents’ house).

I am so disappointed in Kanye not advancing I spit in disgust. 

I’ve fine throwing that baby out with the bath water.  Fuck nicotine vapes - I can roll a decent joint.

They are anti-vax assholes who have done nothing of quality in a decade. Fine, I’ll give Jessica “The Sinner” but thats about it. Justin made his career on the backs of other women’s unwarranted, undeserved, misogynistic public shamings. There are two types of assholes in college and life to avoid: Chads who drug and…

I canceled anything with staying power. Logan Paul and Offensive comedians suck, but there’s enough people who call these people out and they will self-cancel. Kanye West and The Kardashians will keep going, and going, with their money and narcissism.

I have a roll of quilt batting in the corner of my sewing room that looks just like those trees.

for those “heavy flow” days

the company says that its ad was meant to depict the “fitness and wellness journey” that it’s “constantly” hearing about from those forever changed (“often in ways that surprised them”) by “purchasing or being gifted a Peloton Bike or Tread.”

OMG. I saw only the cover photo and I thought it was Ann Coulter. 

It makes me feel like I need to watch Matlock or go to bingo night at the local Rotary club as a palate cleanser.

Everyone should just get the Poop Tube from Tim and Eric.

No, a hot dog’s a hot dog.

If she walks half a block away she can see the dozens of people I see every morning shooting up in broad daylight, seems like that might be a better use of her time if she’s actually interested in helping. I didn’t realize she was coming and now I’m shocked they hadn’t cleared everyone out by the time I drove by this…

At the very least, Ms Girard (of Ecuador) and/or Ms Crevecoeur (of Haiti) could give Mrs Trump an English lesson, as they are both more erudite and articulate in their (presumably) second language than is the lady from Slovenia.

Internal screaming monologue: WE AS HUMANS ALTER THE NATURAL ENVIRONMENT AROUND US WITHOUT CARE OR REGARD FOR ITS IMPACT ON OTHER LIVING CREATURES WHO ARE NOT AS EMPOWERED AS WE AND THE RESULT IS ANIMALS WHO CANNOT BE HEALTHY NOR HAPPY AND WE ARE FAILING AS RESPONSIBLE MEMBERS OF OUR PLANET!!!!

We were forced to do square dancing as a PE class. When you’re 13, you’re rather have a ball flung in your face than touch the sweaty palms of the zit riddled bullies that laughed at you for not being able to play any ball related team sports. 

Mine was a small public school. Most kids were there from K-12. Other towns a mile away had their own similarly sized public schools.

I’m a maladaptive daydreamer so if a PE teacher had said that to me I would have looked them dead in the eye and went: “Ok.” with no emotion. Then go to detention, no matter how many times sent, with no remorse.