Once I get married, I’ll never have to jerk again. Me at 12. 

I was with you until you trash talked, “The Wire.” I’ll chalk that up to a failed attempt at sarcasm.

when rich people hear that we want everyone to get equal access to healthcare, they naturally assume that means they’ll have to suffer the way we do, because they know that their extreme wealth depends fundamentally on our poverty

It wasn’t private.

So, there are two very different aspects to this article:

yes.

This was almost as touching as when my Patriots fan friend proposed to his now-wife by telling her to “do her job.”

Grit 'n' Grind sounds like that time as a teenager when I dry-humped my girlfriend on the beach.

Some Millennials have Borat.   Quoting Borat got old real quick....NOT

Watch your crotch Steve.

between this and Manafort’s sentencing, pretty big day for ignoring RapSheets

It really seems to be entirely dependent on which arc of Kyrie’s mood swings the Celtics are riding come playoff time. 

I don’t take any issue with you regurgitating big stories that you read from tweets and other websites. That is obviously a big part of what you’re supposed to do.

I love how this is basically completely opposite from the narrative you tried to shove into everyone’s reading spheres for the last month.

Someone in my life recently quit their job and started a microbrewery and let me tell you that as bad as your beer drinking snobs are with their talk of hoppy profiles and whatever they’re nowhere near as bad as people who think that because you like drinking beer, you must be interested in the chemical properties of…

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

The sports media columnist for the Boston Globe probably knows this

Dammit, shouldn’t have signed up for the rewards account!

Going to an Asian Massage in a low-rent strip mall with all the windows blacked out and then complaining that it wasn’t a classy fine linen spa with classically trained masseuses is like eating sushi at a Nebraska truck stop and then complaining that you got a tapeworm.

Let he Pittsburgh fan who is without a DUI cast the first Keystone