this is why I simply just shit in the handicapped parking spot.

Well see I think a tank top is different from a “beater”. A beater is a tank top meant to be worn as an undershirt that isn’t. So that’s the one in white or grey or black that gives off that trashy appearance in public. But a general tank top can just be a sleeveless graphic tee, and some of those have a larger range…

My wife is so afraid of someone noticing her when she goes to poop, she actually keeps a 2nd pair of shoes in her desk so nobody recognizes her in the stall. She calls them her Shittin’ Shoes.

No, you left the “maybe” on there.

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

This is going to be sitting vs. standing to wipe, isn’t it?

“I brace my thumb against the side of the can and then pop the tab with my index finger. I think that’s standard, right?”

Oakland’s not a small market, they’re cheap.

we had a local pizza establishment where i grew up in CT that cut their pies like that.

He was definitely not being facetious. 

From what I’ve learned about MLB players having really bad days in the past week, Sanchez should apologize for last night, saying those things happened a long time ago, and doesn’t reflect who he is as a player now.

That’s not gonna sit well with a lot of his Tennessee fanbase.

+1 Rex Ryan special

That’s a pretty good description of what Trump is doing right now in the UK.

Gehrig is an interesting choice and hard to argue with for various reasons.

fuck you right back

Not to mention, the way those recliners are positioned only allows one person to extend the footrest. 

the interview part went south for a variety of reasons which I will detail at a later date

I think we should all evaluate others based on their interactions in elementary school. It is the only real assessment of someone’s character.

Monnarez has been penning some bad, truly insanely BAD, columns for a while now. He’s trying real hard to take the late Drew Sharp’s throne as the Free Press’ prime crap-spitter in Detroit but he just comes off as trying way too damn hard.