You can stop now, Midwestern Christians are not an oppressed group.

See now. This is why all the posturing in the world about better journalism standards is a huge pile of steaming bullshit.

... If having a girl feud with someone means that they make all of their friends copy my adorable fashion decisions, sign me up!

Unfortunately, the general thrust of our culture is far more pro-ana than pro-health. It's all too easy to get stuck in a maze of funhouse mirrors telling you that you're so much more pretty and in control when you're thin, no matter how low the number on the scale goes and no matter how shitty you actually feel.

Anna Breslaw also went to Cosmo but agreed 10 million percent on the insinuation that people have left Jezebel because the new writers are "minor league." That is nonsense. I am in AWE every day of the ladies here and love them so very, very much. I assure you my decision had nothing to do with any silliness like…

I miss you already, Burt. ... Cheers to you and everything in your future. ... Until Sunday, and then the great interwebs beyond...

"Well, as long as you like it, that's the main thing".

Someone broke Megyn Kelly and I'm loving every. fucking. second.

"2 Chainz is considering running for mayor of College Park, Georgia and—sorry, Julianne Moore—it looks like there might be a god after all."

I adore Drew Barrymore. That fucking woman kicked the shit out of life.

Catfish is an awesome show precisely because Nev is such a huge asshole. I will never forget the time he got pissed off at someone and just randomly threw their phone in the river.

Kathy has nothing on Mama Joyce

At least you are throwing a party for an occasion that isn't your birthday....I feel like the annual huge deal expensive birthday party starts to get pretty narcissistic after about 25. I agree that it should feel effortless and it should be all about making a good time for the guests, not the host.

Oh my goddess.

The perverts up by the stage would be, I suppose, venture fapitalists?

pro entertaining tip...if your invite requires a manifesto, it probably isn't a good idea. Get a cake, a couple bottles of wine, and call it a day.

The birthday girl sounds like the literal worst. Sending me a 12 point email in the first place regarding a birthday party is already a red flag. We're not going scuba-diving for 10 days, ok? Here are the rules: be respectful, keep the $$ rolling, and if you'd rather spend money at the bar, then sit at/near the bar.…

I eat pizza with a fork.

COME AT ME BRO

"The 'Suck My Dick, Jesus!'" I am dead.

i feel like i need to rep miss India's costume