When you buy a new appliance, do you leave all the marketing stickers on it?

David Tracy, you are wrong not to be concerned about this trend. It’s as bad as car bras, or putting socks over your shoes.

The proportions are okay, but the grille has that “dumb kid pressing his nose up against the glass” look.

“We’re The Staff of Jalopnik, Let’s Chat”

That wouldn’t have a negative effect on buoyancy?

Where’s the waterline on that thing? How does water not go through the BIG HOLE IN THE DOORS? Does it even snorkel?

No car I know of has breasts! No car I know of has fists! No car I know of has a face, or talks! No car I know of is secretly a ROBOT IN DISGUISE!

Bradbrah, we live in the age of youtube. Come on.

‘Dutch Reach’ sounds like a dirty sex position.

OONST OONST OONSA OONSA OONST OONST OONSA OONSA OONST OONST

I’ll never forgive the H2 or H3 and you shouldn’t be making excuses for them.

Do something more like 5th gen Camaro, when it still looked good. 2019 version looks like Angry Camry.

This car looks like a cat that’s saying “RARR! Am I scary?”

Oh great, now Jason’s hair is autoplay :/

When placed in the centre, they are definitely the arseholes of cars.

My story is that I have a Mk5 GTI and I like it. I’d happily take a Golf R though. Anyone?

Because why?

More money than talent. Also, look at those dipshits gathering up pieces of wreckage like fucking vultures. Straight to the pool room, right?

Ugly. Looks like it wants to grow up to be a Transformer.

OK Kinja, that’s fine. You do you.