Not a fan of John Scott the enforcer, but I absolutely love John Scott the human being. This was an incredible moment. He even earned the MVP! For the record, the NHL didn’t put him on the MVP ballot either. Fans wrote him in and he won anyway. Suck it, Bettman.

A total of four Land Cruisers will be delayed.

As someone who still works in manufacturing, and finds OSHA to be a bother sometimes, they need some OSHA in their life.

+1 wakeup cup from Tim Horton’s

Usually holding out for Columbus goals would leave something other than your jacket blue.

A chance at a puppy based on being able to score on Montreal’s goaltending? Sounds like these kids took advantage of a Priceless opportunity.

That’s not how it works. Brandishing can only be done in circumstances where your life or someone else’s life is actually imminently in danger, and never to settle a fight - that’s a felony. You can also never be an instigator so unless bat-boy came up to your car out of the blue and actually start smashing you to the…

“Now let’s take a look at that from the body cam!”

You could buy this slightly rusty Dodge Ram for the price of a night at the bar!

Lealaimatafao? I got the whole 'lmfao' thing, but I'm gonna need Urban Dictionary for this one.

This makes me so glad that smartphones and twitter didn’t exist when I was in high school.

If the baby had been the one black kid in the entire district, anyone over the age of 40 would have fainted.

They really got to the next free throw shooter, too, when they all simultaneously ate the placenta.

This goes hand-in-hand with my favorite story from The Jordan Rules, the Sam Smith fly-on-the-wall book of the ‘92 season. Here’s the quote, from p. 130:

“It only takes a small tweak to rid the game of intentional fouling”

• Drop a deuce
  

B7....

Neutral: Oh, oh boy... Let’s see here. People in my age range (18-30) refuse to buy new cars because they’re not interested. Women are bad drivers. The more trim options your car has, the more you can charge for it. People will never trust inline threes. Americans don’t buy hatchbacks. People who buy sedans are family…

The truth is it’s a national security issue, without hockey fights Canadiens will have no means of release for the pent up rage from centuries of responding to constant ridicule with excessive politeness. If you ban hockey fights, Buffalo, Detroit and Seattle will be turned to dust within hours.

Paul Finebaum’s listeners, meanwhile, are just happy to be involved with a grand theft auto.