Socialist brown Jesus loves agnostics!

So to dig into the theology a little, that line in the Bible also says the husband’s body belongs to his wife. There’s nothing in that verse that suggests women don’t have equal say when it comes to what they do with their bodies together.

You know why female praying mantises eat their mates after they copulate? Because they know that assholes like this exist.

This is why I keep a mirror on the ceiling above my bed! I have yet to be turned to stone and I’m fucking Gorgons on the daily, my man.

Does anyone know how to become a contestant on Shark Tank?

You think that’s bad? Try being the one responsible for designing exhaust ports.

Whitefish Bay making news once every 40 years or so for the wrong reasons:

He went on to add:

That’s what happens when you have a Hobbit at wide receiver.

Wasted? Da fuq u talking about?

Ever hear Pete Wheeler speak? The dude makes Daniel Murphy seem like Albert Einstein

Everyone always talks about how European it is, but Toronto really has a lot of Seoul.

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

Even the Mexican fans showed more fight than Klinsmann’s USMNT.

I’ve driven an Avenger, and clearly Dough has not, that POS is in no way worth $11 and a windbreaker, $6 and a used pair of tighty-whities at best.

CarMax would wholesale it right away — they have a policy not to sell anything older than a decade. Imagine the Skyline at a used car auction!

Best piece of prose by far

Police say there is no clear motive for the attack.

As a Cubs fan, Deadspin’s slow troll of the Cardinals is making this that much better.

Indeed. $35,000 paid upfront is a hell of a lot more money than $35,000 paid in installments. If someone is willing to finance you something at zero percent, people seem to view that as “I’m paying nothing extra”, as opposed to reality, where it means “they’re discounting my cost at the inflation rate”. Forget about…