He wrenches in the backyard all day long

Let’s use the rules of deduction...

Driving the bumper car home is the easy part. It’s the prep work of setting up the electrified ceiling the whole way along the highway that’s really time-consuming.

You’re complicating this. This is nice, but it’s much much simpler.

1. Buy model / toy cars
2. Remove from packaging
3. Display them on your desk or shelf, or move them around on your desk while you’re on the phone
4. Make car noises
5. Offer zero fucks.

It’s suede, you uncouth peasant.

The Corvette doesn’t need to be at a Cars and Coffee event to take down an innocent bystander. And it’s strapped down!! Now that’s a car.

(commits seppuku)

Home Depot is one of those stores that I actually steel myself (puns!) before I even go in the door.

Blacked out lights.

Yep. I have absolutely no need for GPS for 95% of the places I drive in the area in which I live.

I disagree. HUDs currently don’t display enough information, like my current and best lap times, the number of laps to go, my current position, and the timer for how much longer I have to get to the next checkpoint and extend my time.

When I was 12, my mom had just gotten a brand-new 1993 Dodge Intrepid, and it was the first car I (or any of my friends) had seen that had a key fob that could lock and unlock the doors remotely. (Locking the doors was accompanied by a short blast of the horn.) Also, as it is important to this story, bear in mind that…

“Hey honey, gotta work on the car today. This should only take me an hour or so, and I’ve got everything I need already.”

That’s not a typo, Alanis. They know what they have.

What good is all that payload capacity if the back window isn’t wide enough for a shotgun rack?

Just pick a slightly different Porsche.

I recently learned that Dakota Fanning’s real name is Hannah Dakota Fanning. All I could think is that Hannah Fanning is a stupid thing to name your kid. And then I got the name song stuck in my head.

I don’t think this is what he meant when he planned to get shit faced that night....

Always a good reminder that the exit you need is the only exit in existence to get to the place you are going. It is the only way both in and out for the people past that point. So if you miss your exit, all is lost, you can never go back or around you must find a new destination, give up the people and or places you…

I didn’t know Honda made a 17 foot limousine, so I looked.