The answer to all your questions is: MAGIC. Brilliant, fantastic, octarine magic.

You seem sad. I hope it gets better.

Why does he always look like he is wearing clothes from that episode of Star Trek TNG when Picard gets trapped in that machine that allows him to live another person’s life in the span of like an hour?

That’s my hometown news. There have been a lot of shark sightings lately. (For clarity: the drone video I’m sharing below is from Pismo, around 30 minutes south of Morro Bay.)

I’m gonna weigh in a little heavy here because I’ve been dealing with some bullshit at my kids preschool and yes it’s princess problems but it’s still a bitch. We started receiving IRS letters this year telling the parents to start sending our monthly checks for the school directly to them. We also became privy to…

Another commenter made a very apt comparison by saying it sounds like Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter series wrote that letter.

This crazy lady didn’t even want the parents to meet with each other.

Renae Plant impresses me as the Dolores Umbridge of pre-school headmasters.

“Having any group parent meeting is not in anyone’s best interest and is not going to solve anything. In fact if this does occur it will leave me no choice but to ask all parents in attendance of any such meeting to find alternative care for their children for the new year, for not respecting Camelot’s policy and…

I used to show horses and often brought my corgi dog to the show grounds. Usually he was in stall with a bunch of the other barn dogs. But one time I was there to spectate/cheer on a barn mate so I brought him ringside. This woman was a new rider and very timid, so our trainer wanted us to show support,…

My high school marching band did something like that, completely on accident.

My father was 30 minutes late for his own funeral.

My family originates from Irish peasant stock, which contributes to a somewhat no-nonsense attitude to death. When I was about six, my grandfather died in Ireland. Far-flung sons, daughters and their families gathered for the funeral.

Shortly after I moved to Atlanta, one of my co-worker’s daughters got pregnant at age 16 and somehow managed to have an abortion without parental knowledge or consent.

My great uncle was a llama rancher for most of his life; never married, just ALL LLAMAS, ALL THE TIME.

You’re thinking of Pennsylvania.

When my son passed away, he was 14 months old and a friend had brought his young daughter up from KY for the funeral. It was late January and she had never seen snow so she started doing snow angels and playing in the snow at the cemetery. The other kids who were there were looking at their parents for the same…

This story is one that happened to a friend’s family. My friend’s father is an incredibly well-spoken, intelligent guy, so when his father died, he was chosen to give the eulogy.

Alright, I obviously was not there, but this is one of the best funeral/memorial stories I’ve heard to date:

When I was at my grandfather’s brother’s funeral, one of my father’s cousins let slip that my father is adopted right in the middle of a eulogy. It turns out that everyone knew that my grandmother was already pregnant with my father when she and my grandfather met, except for my father. My mother had even figured it…