Lee likely hasn’t eaten since 1978. Can you say that?

I hope that venom is ethically sourced at least, and you don’t walk out of a salon with 500 bee butts dangling from your cheeks.

The fact that Blake Lively is more successful than her is the most Serena van der Woodson thing to ever happen

I have always liked Leighton.

But, like, WAHHHHH, PENIS VAGINA WAAHHHH

Any outrage people choose to feel about this should be directed at the people who made Mack wrestle girls, not Mack himself. That’s fucking idiotic. And before someone comes in and says “He shouldn’t have competed at all if it wasn’t fair,” here’s a preemptive gif:

Ivanka and Jared are Lindsay and Tobias imo.

I’m starting to think everyone except Trump spoke to the Russians. For some reason, I think he’s being honest but doesn’t know that he’s not even the real president.

BUT HER EMAILS! GIVE HIM A CHANCE! THE COAL MINES! HE’S PRESIDENTIAL NOW AFTER ONE SPEECH! ECONOMIC INSECURITY! PLIGHT OF THE WHITE LOWER CLASS! ARGHHHHHH!

Pence. Man, he’s always being left out. *kicks dirt*

I did the math last year, and I’m pretty sure Rob Lowe is the same age Martin Sheen was in WW season 1 (or very close). Since they kept talking about how Sam was going to be president someday, it would be kind of cool to have him be the President, for a whole cast of younger staffers.

OK, so I know I said yesterday that the thing I need right now is the Obamas’ new books. But...now I kinda want this just as much.

I’d vote for Oprah over him, if you’re the sort of person who wants America to be run “like a business” she’s probably a better choice.

He did whine about me on Twitter and I am banned from calling him a “scumbag” for 12 hours.

“Yeah, but have you considered that he sounded nice, and he publicly thanked a war widow used the widow of a soldier whose blood is on his hands to score political points and distract from the speech’s terrifying message? 

~Andy Borowitz

Their entire intent was to create fear, to show this family, even in their own home they are not safe. Even at a child’s bday party. Fuck them. I drink their tears like i do Holtzclaw’s. Cry you sociopathic morons, cry for your inability to get off scott free. At least the system got it barely right this time.

Imagine if this was reversed.

That and they’re claiming their sentences are unfair based on those that made deals. Except that’s the entire incentive in making a deal - you get a lighter sentence and the state doesn’t have to spend time and money trying you.