I'm so glad you posted that clip of Nicki Minaj. I've never really liked her before that clip, but in that moment I was totally on her side. Hell no to the pickle juice! If it were up to me there would be strawberry lemonade or cranberry juice or whatever up in there. Quality work means quality beverages (at the very…

I know EXACTLY what this is like. About four years ago, my friend was tasked with watching her (kind of) boss's dog for a MONTH...the dog was about 15, MAJORLY ILL, couldn't walk—couldn't even stand to shit himself. It was almost blind and wouldn't eat almost anything either. She'd invite me over to emotionally unload…

Busted up laughing like a mad woman in my local coffee joint. No nipples in sight currently though.

Do parents hold meetings and plan shit like this? Mine told me that I need to get married before they retire, so they don't have a hard time helping me plan my wedding...which I can see the logic in that—and it is a totally nice offer—but like you said, that would mean that a man would want to hang around for more…

Kindred spirit, so nice to meet you! What grinds my gears even more is that my parents are putting the baby making pressure on HARD right now (Sister just had a baby, so they are like WE WANT MORE. GO FORTH AND PROCREATE) and they simply do not understand how I am having a problem even finding a boyfriend. So I mostly…

NOT ALASKA. I am a pervious Alaskan, and just trust me...it is too far north. It is funny because I ALSO now live in Seattle, and I agree, there is a lack of beard for my beard ifyahknowwhatimeanjkthatisalittletoogrosstosaytoastrangeri'msorry. Anyway, here is a Mountain Goats song for my new plans.

Yes I get "bonezoned" or "Fuckzoned" constantly. The "Well I'm not actually ready for a relationship" or "I can't have a girlfriend right now" followed up with the "But can we still fuck?" Now the first two things are fine and dandy, (If disappointing, but it happens) but when you follow that up with still asking for…

What can I say, I have good taste. :)

I'm a sucker for chest hair. I just want to bury my nose in it. Also, beards. Also, lumberjacks. Anybody in plaid, get at me. I'll be here with the flapjacks and the maple syrup. Great now I'm horny and hungry.