after hernia surgery I was given Oxycodone. I took one at work and I was nauseous as hell with head down on my desk not really sure where I was. I didn’t take another. After another rather minor procedure (cyst removal) I was given Percocet, and like a buddy who was also given it after a bike accident, didn’t even ask…

I went to North Haverbrook and was told there ain’t no monorail and there never was.

recalling it now, it was late 1999, because I couldn’t drink for 6 weeks (liver inflammation) and during those 6 weeks was 12/31/1999. We were in Chicago and since I had a ski coat on I got to have all of the cans of beer in my many pockets but could not drink any of it. What a miserable night!

I’ve know athletes who got it from sharing water bottles. 

got it right out of college (future wife who was the carrier but never got the symptoms. Damn her!). I lost 15 pounds over 2 weeks, used up all half of my vacation time after I had exhausted my sick time, just stayed on the couch in our living room all day. I’m not sure what was worse, the sore throat which felt like…

Wow, dad. You’re going to be a monorail conductor

my wife (girlfriend at the time) was sexually assaulted (groped) by a friend who was a PT student practicing massages. She was scared to report it. I encouraged her to go to the hall Priest (Catholic college). The dude who groped her said “she sent me signals she was interested.” Sure, dude. She had to defend her…

The last time I went to my parents’ house they had Faux News on and Jesse Waters came on. This was the day after the Mueller Report came out. Three lies in the first minute. I said so and my dad said “maybe so, but he’s entertaining.” My dad is the more highly educated (M.D.) and rational of my parents which is scary.…

well, he couldn’t ride a Stegsauras so that’s out. Probably a Triceratops since he could put a saddle on it and the three horns would make it a nice battering ram.

it’s what I get for free when I get my hair cut. Recently I’ve been opting for water. 

My favorite “cheap” beer (below Bud or Miller cheap) is Schlitz. Used to drink it for $2/can in Manhattan and it was palatable.

I was once scolded by a Packers fan coworker for referring to the Lions and using “we.” I’m not on the team. A few weeks later he referred to the Packers as “we.” When I called him out he said “but I’m an owner.” Fuck Packers fans; your “stock” is worthless.

I went to a Raw taping in 1999 (Jehrico had just debuted the night before). I’ll never forget the image of my buddy’s nephews, all under 10, yelling “everyone get on the HOOOOOOOOO Train” with the Godfather. 

it helps that they A) have a bigger stadium than the Eagles (look at capacity percentage - Rams 77.4%, Eagles 100.1%) and B) they have enough open seats that thousands of fans of the opposing teams show up to pad that attendance number.

the last few years by white supremacists. For them it symbolizes the time they want to go back to, when America was “great;” slavery, when white males dominated America and immigrants were considered “sub-human.” There’s a white supremacist compound just off I-5 north of Vancouver, WA that flies that flag and the Gadsd…

Christians made up the concept of “sin” to control others. Who are they to decide that an individual who falls in love with another individual who is of the same gender as them is a “sinner” just because they put it in their little book?

it was part of “bring your favorite fiction book to class” day. The schools were concerned there would be nothing but Harry Potter and they needed some variety, so why not one with talking snakes, animals that swam across oceans to get in a boat, burning bushes and a man who walked on top of the water and then rose…

hey now, what better book than the Bible for a class focusing on Fiction?

did you know that Megan McCain is John McCain’s daughter?  Megan’s dad, John McCain, had her with her mom, the wife of John McCain.  John McCain had a daughter, Megan, who is John’s McCain’s daughter. Megan’s last name is McCain because she’s John McCain’s daughter and didn’t change her name when she got married…

“why should I make my bed when it’s just going to get messed up tonight?” An argument that never went over with my mom.