I saw Jerry Seinfeld live many years ago and he had a line that weddings are just you buying dinner for a bunch of people. He’s not wrong. 

Nice!  We were very clear on the “no kids” policy and it led to one of my wife’s cousins refusing to come.  Didn’t bother me!

I take that back, I do remember one more. It was a Subway party sub and meatballs from Sam’s Club and Boone’s Farm at a township hall. The ultimate white trash wedding. Shockingly, it didn’t last. 

If I could do it again (my wife agrees), immediate family and close friends only at a brewery or someplace like that, or destination wedding and people could come if they wanted. BUT, my FIL tries to be the big shot of the family so he demanded a big wedding since it was the first one in the family in years and…

non-practicing.  He and his wife are all about ribs, pulled pork, etc. 

nope, his was in Ohio.  I assume similar - Jewish but non practicing?

At my friend’s sister’s wedding the “chicken” ended up being chicken patties and the bride’s dad threatened to beat the hell out of the caterer who has screwed them over. He got his money back!

don’t forget non centers Brandon Roy and Wes Matthews (I know Wes came back but he did rupture his Achilles right before the playoffs). 

as long as there is no ligament or tendon damage. If it’s a clean break, which it sounds like, he should be ok.

my wife and I were watching as we’re Blazers fans. As soon as I saw Nurk’s reaction on the floor I knew things were bad. I couldn’t eat dinner while watching it (and I made some amazing beef and pork meatballs in the instapot last night and my wife had served it up just before that happened).

Ok, the prank.

His last name was Martini (I’ll leave hist first name out0 and he’d introduce himself, including to the governor who I worked for as “I’m -------- Martini, just like the drink.”

yeah, I’ve had a few...

yep. 

I had a couple female roommates. One in college was an elitist bitch. One out of college was really cool. One night we’re watching TV and she asks me if I’d ever do anal with my GF. “WTF???” She proceeds to tell me that the guy she was with the night before, this super uptight conservative dude, tried to go backdoor…

in college, 1995, there was a guy on our floor who got addicted to some online game. His grades plummeted. My buddy, Joe, was his roommate and was beyond annoyed with him, the guy once played over 24 hours straight. One night there’s a knock at my door, I open it up and Joe falls into my room, laughing his ass off.…

my neighbor freshman year, Peter Parker (seriously, that was his name) was flamboyant as hell rich kid, we knew he was gay and eventually came out the next year. He left one morning with “Stayin’ Alive” blasting on repeat. No RA’s were around to let us in. It was at least 4 hours. He had death threats on his door.

I moved into a house with a couple of coworkers (both coaches so they traveled a lot) when I moved to Queens. The first morning, my first morning of work at my new job, I go to take a shower and the tub is literally black. I’d never seen anything that disgusting. You’d need a belt sander to clean it. I made a joke…

I had a roommate in a house 4 of use shared right out of college. We all worked in state government position. This guy thought he was some mega stud. He’d claim these hot college girls were hitting on him.“Dude, she so wants me. Did you see the wait she was looking at me?” “That’s our waitress, of course she’s being…

they won’t even offer thoughts and prayers. They’ll probably call her a snowflake.