Every year Richie Incognito wins the award for most offensive lineman.

There can only be two sith lords at once. Doesn’t Brady have to be killed by his own son before Bellichik can take on a new acolyte?

Is it safe to say that that was the last we will ever see of Nathan Peterman? Or will, god help us, the fact that he ran for a critical first down (because he couldn’t find a receiver) before throwing a game-ending pick stave off the inevitable. It’s almost like Bortles’ agent arranged a matchup with Buffalo to make…

I don’t think it will be a slow descent. More like a collapse straight into 1970. I read that piece thinking we’re headed back into the wilderness of my childhood. I may still have the brown paper bag with eye-holes cut out.

Please please please make him press secretary. In a hoodie with the White House seal.

Holy shit. We’re doomed. So next summer when I jump off the Lieutenant’s Island bridge at high tide a surprise waits for me to chomp my legs off?

They should just give you a shorter-duration visa, right?

“possibly trapped in the freezing cold Cape Cod Bay.”

‘this guy Bill that talks every day in the early morning, he doesn’t play,’

I came here to make that same point. “His best trait is his toughness — mental and physical” implies that his best trait is *not* ability to throw the football.

Not to mention past-his-prime Peyton Manning. Defense can win championships.

“rematch of the East’s two best teams”

LeBron agrees. Just ask former Coach Blatt.

Ha ha. My bad. I was distracted. He should weave his name into the art. Put his name in the butthole.

The best part is that is says “Mexico is Shit” until he adjusts it. I was like, “aaaaaah... oh, ok.”

I wonder how effective “please don’t kill yourself” signs are. I remember seeing one in a cave in Mexico. It wasn’t meant for suicidal people so much as people over-estimating their scuba skills and taking dumb risks. Also, it was in English, which tells you who they think are the idiots.

Can we agree that these articles are not that um, practical for many of us, but the graphics are ingenious. Please put them all together in a gallery and name the genius who made them.

Seems like Jacksonville fans should be donating too. Now they get to face the Bills in the first round.

“playing for dignity and draft position”

Ok, your douchery explanation accepted, but Trump is expecting bad waitstaff service?