Butt of course it was!

If yesterday was Taco Tuesday and I woke up and texted my best friend “Hey! It’s Taco Tuesday! Let’s get lunch!” and then later, we go to the taco place and I order nachos, is it okay for my friend to physically force me to eat a taco because earlier in the day I said I wanted a taco?

Of course it’s not a crime. It’s just a blanket consent to sex, with anyone, anytime. 

I’m down with that.  

I wear lacy thongs on the regular to work, not because I am looking to be sexed, but because 1) all of my thongs are lacy thongs, and 2) thanks to the miracle of fashion and cultural norms, ladies’ work pants require the wearing of thongs. 

Can I just... I fooled around with boyfriends a lot and for many years before I ever technically “had sex.” From the age of 15/16 to 21 (yes, 21), I was heavily making out, stripping down, and indulging in the wonderful world of “everything but.” I wore thongs, I voluntarily went on dates, I climbed into beds, and I…

“Because if we were in war right now you’d be asking the same questions, wouldn’t you?”

“Troops, your job here is to support our troops. Short term: this wire. Long term: moar wire i guess

Well, if they’re worried about people throwing rocks, maybe it’s best they didn’t send Marines. A group of bored Marines inevitably leads to Marines throwing rocks at each other to pass the time.

The troops are in training for the war on Christmas.

“The short term right now is to get these obstacles in so that the border patrolmen can do what they’ve gotta do,” Mattis answered. “OK? You don’t want them being injured something like that if a piece of wire could have kept someone far enough back that they couldn’t chuck a rock at them or something.”

Here’s an idea. How about we bring back actual witch-hunts, but for suspected rapists?

The real way to make people fit would be to charge them $1000 a couch and then pay a subscription to be able to sit on it w/o donating sweat first.

*sips some ginger ale bought with Bitcoin profits*

I missed “Soviet fitness guru” HamNo. He was all squats, peanut butter, yogurt, and kettle bells. Power to the People!

Fuck the rapist, the court, and the jury to death with hot branding irons. Fuck.

I support all rich people everywhere buying Tonal, as that there’s no way they’re getting a quality leg day workout with that thing, and thus will be way easier to topple by we, the huddled, squatting masses.

What can I do? How can we stop this? This is maddening. This is scary. This is real and this is happening. I am so tired of the “she was wearing a low cut top”/”was in a bar at midnight”/whatever else. I should be able to walk outside my house naked and not have a dick shoved in me. And in the same form, I’m so tired…

The rapist’s lawyer is named Elizabeth O’Connell. Dox the witch.

1) Of course wearing a lacy thong doesn’t mean you’re “open to meeting someone and being with someone”