That last one tho. A+++.

I remember seeing him on Oprah, when she was asking the “Who are 3 people you’d have dinner with” question to everyone. His answer was: Vincent Van Gogh, John Lennon, and Jack Kerouac. I remember thinking, He’s a high school freshman who thinks he’s really cool trapped in a 40 year old’s body.

Read an article about Neil deGrasse Tyson schooling an idiot!

Dude, the experience of white people has not been “erased” in this country; it’s almost all we see in politics, literature, film, pop culture, etc.. POC do not need to be educated on what white people think—they are literally surrounded with it all day, every day.

I’d like to ask all congresspeople who receive support from the NRA, financial or otherwise, how many human lives that support is worth. I’m afraid, however, the answer is “infinite.”

Whereas my mom would get that text and call me up, cackling, to tell me I'm a smartass bitch.

See, now, I'd be tempted to do the opposite: "The heat went out but it's ok, we still have gas to the oven. I'll just pop that puppy on for a couple hours and leave the door open. I'm turning my phone off after this text to conserve battery life. LOVE YOU! YOU'RE THE BEST MAMA EVER!!!"

Um, the whole thing started because Carly's phone was in the toilet—how's she now texting the guy whose phone she's borrowing?

Yeah, I don't understand the anger here: If you want better kids, be better parents while the kids are young. Uh, isn't that what they're doing? If the kids are young enough to believe in Santa, I don't think it's too late to try to change the way they're being raised. And, frankly, no kid is owed a toy and candy orgy…

What's sillier? Being mad at spoilers or being mad that people are mad at spoilers? I mean, xir whole logic is, "There are more important things to be angry about." Maybe xe shouldn't be so upset about us hating spoilers...

Live events, you say?

Man, they're not even, like, basil-infused or something? C'mon! I could make fancier cubes than that and I'm not even an ice cube artisan!

You know, I'm really sick of Jezebel authors avoiding the important issues! You can make light of the situation all you want, Mark, but what people really need to know is, when the manufacturers of the onesie say "one size," do they mean a fat lady (say, a 2x for example) could fit in it?

Yep, and this Midwesterner was eating squid ink pasta in the late '90s.

You're my new favorite person.

Eeeeee! When's the little darling due?!

Whoops! You forgot to ask GoG where you can send the thank you basket!

Gawker, this has been going on far too long and your staff and readers shouldn't have to deal with it. It's as basic and simple as that.