If Eagles or Sixers fans had to wait for a championship in order to fight, Philadelphia would see a historic period of peace and prosperity.

Hahahahahaha... wait, it could work out.

I’d rather watch Hillary pegging Bernie with the Donald pushing than subject my family to Disney experience.

Strong choice, assures England will maintain their commitment to not winning a fucking thing.

The runner up prize was a date with Chesterfield striker Ched Evans. No one wanted it either, but I hear the club forced it upon some poor fan anyway.

Really? Four cases just now seeing the light of day. It should’ve been relatively simple to find these during the last investigation. Everyone knows Penn State had a pedophile.

Probably from someone looking to buy midget porn.

I sincerely hoped France would win. In the name of sweet little baby Jesus will someone please tell me what the fuck purpose Giroud serves other than providing France with the opportunity to roster someone who can match Ronaldo’s use of hair product?

Ashley Cole, Jr. was subsequently suspended from his ball boy duties.

“The ‘cool places’ become totally overrun with jabronis because they are so limited.”

Reporter: Do you worry about losing out on the many benefits of playing for Barca?

When do the Amish give in?

Recently the All England Club had to be renamed the All Ngland Clb. No more “e” or “u”.

A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again.

What a bullshit story. I thought we’d get to see Robin van Persie.

There was another broken Hart in front of England’s goal.

And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you Chileans and your Medeling defense.

Similarly, Gonzalo Higuain “scoring in a final” is also just a threat.

He probably isn’t that bad. There area subtle nuances at play when works are translated into English from the original Canadian.

I’ll confess ignorance of the system of government in Iceland. Regardless, I hope you become the Prime Minister/King/President/Viceroy/Chieftain of Iceland in the very near future.