Offside - the side opposite where the ball is currently located

Frank Lampard really sucks at fighting.

There should be a testosterone minimum in baseball so we don’t have to watch the Cardinals anymore.

If Mike Francesa were an ice cream flavor he’d be pralines and dick.

No way this ends well. Getting off scot free will be impossible.

I thought this would be a how-to article for LeSean McCoy.

Nothing like being a little kid around Nick Rimando.

But I hear his ball handling was exceptional.

That kind of hustle makes him the heart and seoul of the team.

Van Gaal’s park the bus strategy fails again.

ESPN says CSA vs. CRB in Brazilian BFE leaves fan FUBAR with possible TBI.

... and now I know where to get my uniform when I’m hired as a janitor at the Jedi Temple.

Hangovers are rough. Did it feel like someone was hitting you on the head with a Lillehammer?

Player 1: That kid is killing us.

Got it. Apparently there is a reason I don’t gamble. I was really confused as to why the hell that was newsworthy.

You do bring up an interesting potential scenario. If Manchester United does win out, I think we can also anticipate dogs and cats living together, the somewhat early return of Jesus Christ, and a Leicester repeat next year.

You have to be in a uniquely successful position to necessitate cashing out the equivalent of 3 USD. Have fun when rent is due.

Talk to me when they Eiffel Tower Modric. Then I’ll believe they’re buddies.

I feel for Villa fans who were unfamiliar with the ravaging clusterfuck that is anyone associated with the Browns.

Greg LePond?