This is tangential to my frequently argued point that a Michael Jordan with no legs or arms, bound to a wheel chair, would certainly not be an all time great player.

But that would add, like, 20 minutes onto the writing of an article! Do you think he is made of time or something?

I absolutely love number 4. Its like an arrest record is a power ranking or something.

Big shocker that the guy who can’t stand Ali’s showboating is from a city that hasn’t had cause to celebrate since Ali was 22 years old.

That top button is struggling. Rog might need a sturdier shirt to handle those impending moobs.

I stopped reading once I hit that sentence. I don’t need anymore anger boiling in my blood this early in the day.

Is there anywhere you can find a summary of what teams actually pay to use their park? Or is that kind of information intentionally obfuscated under mountains of sports accounting voodoo?

FUCK! You stole my dissertation topic!

Sooooo, was he completely ignored in the locker room during half time? How the hell did he end up back on the floor during the third?

Refugee athletes headed to Rio for THESE olympic games? The jokes write themselves.

I really want to know what went through the interviewer’s mind the moment Starr turned to his handler in the middle of the taped interview to ask if his response was okay. I have to imagine an internal shit eating grin that was difficult to contain.

The redesign of Mousetrap is looking good.

Huh. I now like Channing Frye.

Dinger has been a thing for a while.

Surprised you didn’t go with Bumdonger.

I would sooner eat my cat than lick it.

Lets remember some guy’s balls:

Bechtel Engineering, Nation Guild of Hypnotists And Zanzibar Island Park

I am looking for a goodyear welted dress sneaker. Any suggestions?

Seriously. There is no way in hell I will be able to run like that at 92. I don’t think I would even have the energy in the morning to drag my ass out of the grave.