Thank you for this. I needed some clown car sports tonight.

Oddly enough, I was more open to the idea of a joint bachelor/bachelorette party before I read your case for it.

It seems weird when an article on bachelor/bachelorette parties starts to sound like a play date.

A No Party Left Behind policy on serves to drag down the exceptional parties.

A pox on the house of whatever team is foolish enough to sign Howard in the offseason!

These late starts are brutal. I have only been able to watch a single game from beginning to end of the Hawks - Blues series. It would be nice to be watch an entire weeknight game that didn’t also require me getting 2 hours less sleep that night.

Yeah! FUCK people who get up early for work or school!

I am assuming he wanted to write an article on an actual hockey game.

YAY FOR HEADLINE PUNS!

I fucking hate Rajon Rondo and hope his kneecaps fall off his legs.

Rack ‘em!

You’re right. My cubicle isn’t broadcast to millions of people.

The people that throw their shit haphazardly on the belt are of the same ilk that squeeze out the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

This guy is my kind of guy guy.

Miroslav Satan

I have the same problem when I wear my kilt on the Metra.

Guess which of those two teams has an insufferable, self-righteous group of asswipe fans.

I am really, REALLY curious what idiotic franchise is going to sign Howard in the offseason.

After work I am going to tell my wife to divorce my ass and go find happiness if I ever get Alzheimer’s. I can’t even imagine the pain associated with watching a person functionally slowly dying while still breathing.

That was like, the eigth person he had saved from the same pool of stupidity. Shit’s exhausting.