Birds suck SO HARD. I'm sure the break up was utterly unrelated to the bird-off.

Ok!! I was shopping at outdoor outlets once, ran into a bathroom. When I came out there were 5 ducks around my car, one was even sitting on my hood. I tried to gently shoo them away but they started snapping at me and beating their wings. Finally someone came out of a store and chased them off with a broom. Fast…

I did not actually get that close to look, but I am going to go with .. no :)

Europe or Times Square. I once saw a fully naked woman get her body painted and no one even looked twice. Too busy trying to locate the Naked Cowboy, I'm sure.

My run-ins are much weirder than that. For example: New Year's Eve, 2012. I was at the store to get groceries. Even though I live in central PA, there were a bunch of seagulls in the parking lot. I get out of my car to go in the store and the flock all start circling and attacking me like I've got soft pretzel…

If they're looking for love they are going about it the wrong way.

I know ... which, if it were possible, would almost make having the bird curse worthwhile.

Well that would be awesome! Which one do you think???

Oh God. They do. Everyone thinks I'm exaggerating until they are with me when something happens. I've had a parrot in a pet store land on me and beat me with its wings. My friend, who constantly mocked me for the bird thing, was there as well and freaked.

I feel your pain. I've been attacked by geese, ducks, cockatiels, gulls, parrots, pigeons, starlings, parakeets, bluejays and several others. I'm fucking terrified of birds.

Speaking as a person who has spent most of their life being attacked by birds/fowl of all types, all I can say is ... YAY! DEAD DUCK!

I honestly think that is awesome. I love long standing family traditions like that. The continuity from generation to generation warms the cockles of my cold grinch-y heart. It doesn't seem like we really do traditions any longer. We seem to want new all the time now. We've had at least one per generation for I…

Why thank you madam! I keep giggling as well. That may say something about us!!

When I saw Porsha rip it back I was like, "GIRL! YOUR BOOB IS OUT!!" Then no one noticed it and it was just free as a bird as she was scrambling out of the crossfire and I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Then watched it 3 more times.

She and her right tit were innocent bystanders.

There will be a lot of comments about the slap/hair pulling, so I will leave that to others. I'll just say that I feel sorry for Cynthia, who was unfortunately between these two and ended up with her breast out on television when the shit storm hit.

That old lady church hat ... Jesus tits.

John is a good, solid name. And it works for at any age, my most persistent problem with "trendy" names. I cannot even imagine a 64 year old man named "Blase" or a 72 year old "Sierra."

There can never be enough Slagathor.

HEY!!! Slagathor is from one of my favorite Scrubs episode jokes!! Don't judge. There was a time when it was funny.