My mother, in one of her weirder fads, got the culture starter thingy for kombucha when I was in high school. She kept it in a bucket in our laundry and she named the resulting snot slime monster 'Lionel'. Lionel lasted in his bucket for ages, my mother trying to get us to drink this fucking revolting tea ‘for our…

First class plane tickets, a Japanese-style soaking tub, a Tesla, and the Annual passport that’s good at Disneyland and Walt Disney World.

I just got a raise and decided that means I can have avocados whenever I want them, no matter how expensive they are.

Aberforth, is that you?

I’d buy Donald Trump and then force him to live in a dungeon made out of gold for the rest of his life. One wall would feature holograms of all the people he’s gotten into feuds with and they would all be laughing at him day and night.

I would have a human-sized replica of Bag End built in my own forest (no people allowed, just ponies/horses/deer/foxes/rabbits/squirrels) and have several pantries just for cheese and a few more for beer. And I would fill my hobbit hole with dogs. MANY DOGS.

A library+reading room accessible only through a seemingly boring, normal bookcase THAT IS SECRETLY A DOOR.
Like, full on Scooby-Doo style, pull a candlestick, rotating, secret bookcase door.

Killer Whale Submarine. $90,000. I saw it in SkyMall.

A bunch of goats. And I would use my money to pamper them. I would let them devour all that stood in their path, and pay off the offended parties. And I would build them a goat castle with swings.

Alan Thicke Uses Robin Thicke’s Music As His Boning Soundtrack

Me too! I was thinking weird incest-y squickness, combined with the whole Elizabeth Bathory bathing-in-the-blood-of-virgins (wives?) thing to stay young and live forever. Something reeeeeeeal fucked up and sacrifice-y.

The only appropriate GIF. I cannot even.

Off topic: That man has the most beautiful eyes. ETA: And a really pretty cryface.

They are going to put Shailene Woodley in this, aren’t they?

This spell's disaster witch-ever way you cast it.

WILL WATCH.

Secret occult history was pretty much why I wanted to watch it.

I like when she says “I’ve been swimming in creeks” and then points to the creek.