WHY WONT SHEER DRESSES DIE?!

Karen Elson looks pretty great. And she actually dressed for the theme. The people who don’t dress for the theme and who wear short and/or boring dresses infuriate me. If you’re at the Met Gala, you’re probably rich and hot. You have the opportunity to wear a crazy elaborate ballgown, something 99.9% of women will…

Can’t like it. It’s so Cher/JLo/Rihanna. It’s like a slutty genie costume made by Fredricks of Hollywood.

OKAY THAT’S NICE BUT CAN WE ALL ACKNOWLEDGE THAT FAN BINGBING IS QUEEN HERE PLEASE

I've said it before, but I just can't stay on the Paul Walker Grief Train knowing about his penchant for teenagers. It's still sad that he died, of course, but this huge outpouring is unnerving. Let's just say the sadness is tempered by a full-body skin crawl.

this is one I actually used. I was five years old, playing with my cousins at my Babcia's house. She was making dinner and was a terrible cook. When she called us in for dinner, I told her I couldn't eat because I was sick. She asked what was wrong, and I told her it was prostate cancer.

My brother and his (then) wife were already in town for our wedding. They were staying in the same hotel as my parents and my sister and all the other wedding guests. Come the wedding, though, they were a no-show and had checked out of the hotel. Asked for an explanation, he said "I forgot where the wedding was taking…

I leave read receipts on (because I appreciate when other people do it) so i have to strategically look at texts. It's complicated. I should probably just turn them off.

I had a co-worker that would fake an asthma attack whenever he didn't want to work, this would happen about once a week. He also would refuse to dust any of the fixtures because of his asthma. One time he was in the (empty) break room and another employee walked by and heard him on the phone saying he was leaving…

yep google it, his roommate is friend of 20 years, roommate = boyfriend???

he also has a roommate

would all the celebrities please stop fucking John Mayer

re: Renner

I think if we listen closely, we can all hear Adultosaur having a terrific MELTDOWN.

That is a lot of work to party. But I don't blame you one bit.

who's about to turn 9

I admit to going to Ft. Lauderdale for Spring break. I admit to participating in drinking and raucousness. I will not admit that I was in a wet t-shirt contest and came in second which helped offset the cost of this adventure.

I love the sexy chicken dance.

Back in the Ye Olden Days, I'd get gold and silver leaf put on my acrylics. Because I'm a fancy Jewess. (Actually, it was b/c my friend was bored AF working as a nail tech and she would try just about anything to keep in interesting.) if I did this foil application myself it would look a right mess.

(A date with Mark Ruffalo, but he wants to have a wasabi-eating contest before you seal the deal)