THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD AND I’M RESTRAINING MYSELF FROM HEADDESKING AT WORK

I think the DNC should have been held in Colorado or Washington so we could get our lovely Jezzie reporters some medicated ice cream, both for their own well being and so they’ll publish good stories about HRC.

TRUMP WILL WIN *BECAUSE* YOU’RE VOTING THIRD PARTY, DINGBATS! /RAGE

jokes aside, I think he’s a practical pick. As much as I would have loved to see a Clinton/Warren or Clinton/Booker ticket, I can see how it would be too risky in an election year that’s been basically straight out of the Twilight Zone so far. I look forward to getting to know Kaine and his policies!

RIP Cheese’s Vagina

I’ve been ranting about this since it happened to anyone who will listen. Any person would get kicked out of college for doing what Melania did. Hell, a lot of high schools would either expel or stop a kid from graduating if they did what she did. It’s completely unacceptable for 15 year olds to do! How is it that…

I can’t read the phrase “party officials” without thinking of 1984, which seems like an apt comparison these days tbh

She didn’t do it purposefully, it’s just force of habit for her at this point!

I’m having a strange moment in which I agree with both Ted Cruz and the rest of the attendees of the RNC - Ted Cruz for not supporting Drumpf, and the rest of the attendees for booing Ted Cruz because that’s my immediate involuntary response upon seeing Ted Cruz’s face.

#TeamZodiacKiller

I love how much this sounds like a 15 year old proclaiming she’s ready to have sex with her high school sweetheart.

More informative and more dangerous!

1) These are my favorite ever variations on Dirt Bag, and that’s saying a lot because Bobby Finger’s Dirt Bags are the highlight of my day most days.

No, probably also better and more informative

Put him as Secretary of Health and Human Services, just for laffs

the worst part is, this is one of those “realllllllly close to being possible truth” jokes

The similarities to Picasso end there, hopefully

Ahh yes, not a speck on his record of domestic abuse, no time in jail, and surely no need to turn over his guns. How delightful.

I haven’t put much effort into looking into Jill Stein, but holy shit are her stances terrible. How on earth someone can be both a physician and an anti-vaxxer is beyond me.

I’m assuming it’s the “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” approach, which is dumb as fuck in this situation because Bernie and Hillary are not enemies, have not ever been enemies, nor will ever be enemies. They were campaigning against each other, sure, but their platforms are basically identical and their political…