It couldn’t possibly be because one is a woman and the other is black. Nope nope, not at all. It can’t be that when it comes down to it, Republicans will always favor a rich white dude over anyone else.

Oh look! It’s Vincent Adultman, heading off to a long day at the business factory!

> We’d be more than happy to help Mr. Trump dress better—because at the end of the day, we all have to look at him.

Well for one thing, it’s hard to find fire retardant material that hangs properly. Then there’s covering up the cloven hooves/wings/horns, etc. You ain’t hiding all that unless you’ve got a tailor on permanent staff.

In cases of legitimate rapists winning the Republican nomination, well, the female electorate has ways to shut the whole thing down.

Her dog has a better chance of growing a horn and turning into a unicorn than her growing a backbone.

The Gunshow Poophole: When you try to stick your entire arm up your ass, but there’s no room because your head has taken up all of the available space.

She’s not going anywhere. She worked for Todd Akin during the “legitimate rape” comments and didn’t leave him.

Only one way to deal with a creature such as this

He is the Russian nesting dolls of sleaze.

You know what Mariah’s schtick is? Five octaves.

(We will note here that we’re claiming Wasteland of Sexual Anarchy for a future thrash metal band and will pursue legal action against anyone who tries to claim it.)

It’s so luxurious, you wouldn’t believe what people are saying about this stocking cap, I sent the best people to find my cap, they tell me this is the longest one anywhere, anywhere in the world you can’t find a better one than this, I was in China and other Asia and I see the stocking caps they have there, everyone…

I love this because I imagine that he was just tossing and turning in bed seething about this and then finally leaped up, cast aside his absurdly long stocking cap, and tweeted this out before collapsing back into bed.

I love everything you just wrote. Everything.

Something that I’ve noticed recently that’s common among Trump supporters is a proud lack of patriotism. They don’t try to dismiss the fact that Trump is not good for America, because fuck America. I don’t necessarily think that unquestioned loyalty to your country is a good thing, but they lack a commitment to a…

Tonight I had the joy of going to see a live taping of NPR’s “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me”, it was amazing. What was more amazing, was that I got to attend the VIP Cast party (HOLY SHIT I MET PETER SAGAL AND BILL CURTIS AND FAITH AND ALONZO) ahemm. Somehow, during this event, I managed to get corned by probably the only…

Early polls since the debate seem to reflect that fact, but my faith in this country has really been shaken at this point. That it’s even gotten this close in the first place horrifies me, so I won’t be optimistic until November 9th rolls around and we’re getting preparations underway to swear in President Clinton…