When I was in Afghanistan, I was stuck on an Afghan army base for almost a year and a half. Fortunately I had myself a global Ranger with a diesel and a stick shift. They got tired of people driving too fast, so they MacGyvered some speed bumps by taking 12" steel pipe, cutting it in half, and bolt it to the street.…

He's actually not moving at all. He's just doing a burnout while the world moves under him.

Tetanus shot

Back in my day people would buy sports cars expecting them to catch fire, and they'd put 'em out and keep on drivin'.

It's a fucking Carrera GTS with stripes and a little plaque on the dash. Jesus.

And how it actually ends up being done:

Moral of the story : Your old ass BMW is ruining your marriage, replace it with another old ass BMW.

obligatory

Last gen Corvette Z06 was 3150 lbs and $66k. The Z/28 is $10k more, but you get 700 more pounds for the price, so it's a better deal.

Just as I was starting to think BMW owners weren't cocks, someone has to go and make a comment like his.

*understeers off road*

My electic leafblower is so quiet, I actually have to pump its sound into my ear buds for maximum enjoyment.

C'mon, did nobody else think of this?

He probably felt even more like a badass because TrueCar showed the invoice at$1.23 million. Score!

I was just going to say "Fuck the police.", but that works too.

true story, in high school GF called crying because her Fiero would not start. When i met her she was standing in front of the Fiero with the hood up crying. She turned to me and said "Someone stole my engine!"

The manliness is ironic, since everyone who has ever told me their car has a V4 engine has been female.

there are two types of people in the world, those who need closure

About 10 years ago. I had just got my '95 Mustang Cobra back on the road after a year or so of sitting in the garage due to a blown T-5 transmission. Took it to the drag strip. Rode to the burnout box and did a quick burn out to get the gravel off the tires and I went a bit past the prestage light so I backed up, I…

Fairly minor, but I recently sat at a stop sign in my neighborhood apparently waiting for it to "turn green".