Were you all, “hey, everyone really seemed to like that menu, Dave. What did you think, Dave? Were you a fan of it, Dave? I think it could’ve used some more garlic, Dave.”

My reaction to Paleo is “Slaughter a mammoth with a stone spear tied to a stick or GTFO.” WE DO NOT LIVE IN PREHISTORIC TIMES, PEOPLE. WE HAVE CONQUERED FIRE AND HAVE AIR CONDITIONING NOW.

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

Dear contributors to today’s BCO, I’d like you all to know that you’re the wind beneath my wings, & an inspiration to us all. I promise to skewer a troll in honour of each & every one of you.

Eh, just like religion and vegetarianism the atheists you want to hang out with are the ones for whom it’s just a part of who they are instead of something they wave around in order to feel superior to everyone else.

I don’t understand why someone didn’t just say something.

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

I was thinking the same thing. he’s a real keeper.

Boys, when you’ve been rejected, and your friend at the bar suggests getting over it with a couple of shots, this is not what they mean.

As a actual, real-life historian, that article was painful to get through. You cannot understand what life was truly like for people of another time by cosplaying them 24/7. That’s just...not how history works. I do want to know where they get all their money though, I hope that’s historically accurate too, and they…

Perfect. $1,300 to read comics. Sounds like a good investment.

“DO NOT THINK HE IS GUILTY I just work at subway and thought this was funny.”

Well, in their defense, they may just be drastically underestimating how much their is to move. My girlfriend and I had never actually moved out of a place before we moved out of our apartment (defining moving out as “We own everything in the place and everything must be completely cleared out by a certain date) so we…

I used to frequent a LAN center in my youth. One asshole kept throwing his soda cans in the bed of my truck when he’d take a smoke break.

Roommate A heard me talking about unloading my storage unit and said, “Why don’t you ask Roommate B if you can borrow her pickup?”

Truth as someone who doesn’t own a pickup this is exactly how we think.

I don’t even help people move anymore. If someone wants to use my truck, they rent it out. And I insist on taking pictures of the odometer and gas gauge so they can’t claim they brought it back with the same amount of gas. I also take a picture of them next to the truck to document the lack of damage before they take…

Lets see, once I lent the truck to a friend who proceeded to pick up day laborers with it from Home Depot. Now whenever I go there I get swarmed by them. Then I let my brother in law borrow it to move. He of course goes and picks up a day laborer to help. And I keep a whole bag of straps, rope, etc in my back seat,…

OMG, who does that??? I was expecting maybe a used diaper in the van, but an adult pooping in it? That is just beyond uncivilized.

Reality: 8 hours later they are still shoving loose underwear into the box with the kitchen utensils