His bulge was a metronome swinging back and forth hypnotically to the beat.

Pssst, I did too. Don't tell anyone though.

And damn is that teacher sexy. Love the, um, package-forward trouser choice.

Thank you. We needed this to clean out our minds from the previous post.

-You receive an IP relay call which is just a reading of The Raven followed by the threat of someone coming to get you. (This is a thing that happened to me and I still called the non-emergency number.)

Chait will be backing Rand Paul in 2020. Mark my words.

Maybe we'll finally find out what the naked lady says.

I not so secretly hope she finds a way into public service after the White House. Senator Obama had such a nice sound when it was Barack; imagine now Senator Michelle Obama.

Come on, we all know that it was Michelle who big upped in India:

What is it with birthdays and weddings that make people so tone deaf?

Exactly what I needed tonight with this insomnia. Well done!

We gays are having all the fun and sex and they aren't. It pisses them off.

I believe that the OP means that both God and Joseph are Jesus' daddies.

Reality destroys many childhood memories.

Some time around 21, I Naired my chest. Between the burning hair smell, the shortness of breath, AND THE NIPPLE BLEEDING, I still had to call my manager and get out of work from my waiting job.

I'm toasting right now. Toasting you with my scotch for this comment.

Unrelated, but a favorite German word of mine: "Kummerspeck" which translates to "grief bacon". It's a word for the extra weight you put on due to emotional overeating. Germans have a word for everything.

My guess is they use a uniform cleaning service and send them out en masse every few days (with all the towels). I've seen that in restaurants where I've worked. Individuals wouldn't get receipts in that case because you'd just be pulling a clean uniform from the stack and throwing it in a communal pile at the end of…

Neat! I like how you've created three different moods. You've inspired me to try this one weekend this winter.

I recently came across some journals from a decade ago where I spent a decent amount of time teaching myself to write and draw left-handed. My right-handed writing throughout leads me to believe that I have multiple personalities that the current one typing now isn't aware of.