We can only get out when we're given something to work with. Do you have any special knowledge about his sexual techniques? If she isn't communicating that she wants a change in the bedroom and instead just lists "tired" or "gross" or "sweaty" as her reasons, why shouldn't we take her reasons at face value?

Yeah, there really isn't a lot of hope for these two, is there? I guess I missed the Reddit line where she suggested mornings. Hmmm... that does add an element to my thinking. Still, if they are having this much trouble now, wait until the kids come!

You have some insight into this that the rest of us don't?

Thank you for the ad hominem attack, this wouldn't have been a Gawker response without it!

Fair enough.

We don't know if he has tried other ways of communications. Further, what we do know, is that she has not effectively communicated with him nor has she once during this time period initiated intimate relations with her husband.

Sex is most definitely NOT a mental disorder.

Do you have a prostate? You WILL believe one day. (And if you don't, well, I don't pretend to have any special understanding of the female plumbing.)

We don't know the underlying issues that caused the constant refusal to be intimate with her husband and subsequent pulling away. We don't know that she "in no way deserved it". As far as dickhead moves goes, creating a spreadsheet that maps out a series of flimsy excuses for refusing to connect with a partner is…

Yeah, I agree that his passive aggressiveness is horrible. I wouldn't be so quick, however, to discount her own passive aggressive behaviour with her constant excuses that don't actually address what are clearly underlying issues that are getting to her and causing her to pull away from her husband.

It is also important that she initiate intimacy with her husband as well.

But why is he solely responsible for understanding, as you say, "the real reason" for why they didn't have sex? She is giving reasons that no one here, myself included, actually believe, and yet he is awful because he can't interpret them?

Actually, I think it's precisely because the wife DOESN'T suck that we are all reading about this now.

Ehh... if she's stressing about weight gain, she's not likely having sex outside the marriage.

Well, creating and delivering this spreadsheet seems to indicate that he's ready to do something.

AMEN!

But the majority of her refusals have to do with the way she feels "gross" or "sweaty" or "tired". She doesn't indicate any problem with the sex at all. Nor does she initiate sex. How is he supposed to read her mind? She's taking her excuses at face value, as he should. Her excuses, however, indicate that she is not…

(In fact, it's often the indicator of great sex.)

Yeah, we are beasts to expect openness, honesty, and intimacy.

I agree that he does, but clearly she does too. Turning him down without discussing these underlying issues leads to, well, his response.