Joke’s on you, John Brown—my girlfriend is also a fantasy!

Well, self-proclaimed best player in the NBA James Harden is shooting 22% fg and 3/32 from three. So don’t feel too bad Kobe.

2014-2015 Sacramento Kings (Boogie, and, uh, Darren Collison).

You can still come to Gawker media sites to read about private citizens being outed...

Sean Mcindoe is one of the best hockey writers out there right now. His columns were insightful and funny. They often provided most of the jokes I stole for the week.

Shoulda’ been you, Adequate Man.

Fan: Hey Roger, show us a cool trick you can do with a racket!

WOW NICE PUN KEEP UP THE BRILLIANT WORK

You got it all wrong, Samer. You start with the most difficult kid to beat up. Not the easiest. Good lord man, I mean is this your first time beating up kids?? Jeez...

It’s only fair to hold players to the same standards as coaches. I mean, didn’t Steve Sarkisian just get fired for showing up on campus with a Jack Koozie?

It’s also the entire employee handbook for University of Phoenix Online admissions staff.

“It’s good to admit mistakes.”

Comparing Blood Meridian and Moby Dick to Star Wars is just silly. Star Wars is clearly a biblical allegory.

You’re right, “one of the best defenders” is an overstatement, but I would say he’s a good defender. Most advanced defense metrics—which are worse than the already meh advanced offense metrics—put him somewhere around average, but I think that understates his value.

This comment alone makes me want to never watch any of these

This further proves that the only “trick play” the Colts should be concerning themselves with is trying to dispose of the dead hooker in the trunk of Jim Irsay’s car.

Learning something about a subject you find interesting when you’re on a commute or cleaning the bathroom? It’s pretty logical, honestly.

Chris Connelly knows what the people want: more cloying soft-focus features!

Good dickhandling on that goal, though.

"I don't know how much that's been done. I think that's a pretty cool thing