I didn’t know Santa had an evil twin... 

Oh, this makes me feel better... We repainted 3 years ago and I never put anything back up on the walls. Minimalism... who knew?

Yeah, there is ZERO chance she’s passing that bar exam without paying someone to either take the exam for her or paying someone to change her answers. 

Yes. Yes they do. Every last damn one of them, including Kanye (and every ripped up & overpriced piece of clothing he’s ever designed).

Yep, that very thing happened to me! The messed up part is that I didn’t even KNOW I was pregnant yet when I signed up for it, they still denied me and still continued to take the $, refusing to let me cancel because “open enrollment has ended for the year”*

That sounds like a dream to me! My insurance does cover one optical visit per year, but I got assigned a real jerk of a doctor that noted in my file that I wouldn’t need to be seen again for 5 years, and I KNOW my eyes have changed since I saw him last spring. It doesn’t cover dental in any capacity. I would have to…

Frankly, you’ll have to pry my thirst for Mr. Tom Hardy from my cold, un-toned, dead and fleshy thighs. Thankyavurymuch!!!

But was it “so fun” and/or “wild”?

They wear more makeup in one day than I have ever worn on my face in the duration of my life. What can I say? I’m a gal who hates to wear the crap!

Yeah. I live in the US. I am not wealthy. Everyday that passes without a financial crisis arising is a relief. I have health insurance but the $5,000 deductible would be a nightmare for me if I ever had a serious health issue... so basically, I’m paying over $300 a month for a service I can’t afford to use but the…

I think Joe Dirt looked a leeeetle more invested in his personal hygiene. 

See also: Kool-Aid is not as bad for you as soda. I didn’t like either as a kid (milk or water only pleaseandthankyou) but even I knew that was a load of crap. 

HA! I just commented the same. I also know a random drinking limerick that involves counting to four. I am SO qualified ;)

I can (poorly) sing/scream Du Hast by Rammstein. 

I wonder how quickly I could learn rudimentary German. This speaks to my soul.

I actually remember that, now that you’ve mentioned it!

He’s performing at Treasure Island casino in MN at the end of April. I tried desperately to get tickets (because WTF and HELL YEAH) but they sold out immediately. dammit.

I also make that sound when I see her but my intent is more contempt than sympathy. It’s sickening that someone with alllll the resources and access to great education can’t even write with proper punctuation or grammar. I would agree that it’s not entirely her fault... her parents completely failed her while she was…

DEFINITELY!!!!!

He is such a sick fuck! I haven’t been able to watch him in movies or TV since that scandal. Now that my daughter is about to turn 14, it seems even more horrifying because I look at her and know in my soul that if something like that happened to her I’d lose my damn mind.