Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.

I’m gonna try to make sure my in-laws don’t hear about it for six months so I can have it in my back pocket if I ever get stuck in front of the TV with them for a whole evening. These recent Spielberg movies are a great combination of simple period drama plotting for the olds and old wide-angle lens porn for me.

Show me how you wiggle to get those jeans up. I bet you had to lay down on your bed to fit into those jeans. Did you step into those jeans or did you have to jump into them?

For mine I need to bone up on Jumanji.

Simmons released a statement, “I don’t understand this lawsuit. I am a sex battery.”

What are you talking about? It took a team of professionals to get it in the shape you see in that photo. Feature not a bug. 

I hear he’s already selling advertising rights for the trial

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That’s a shame. She would have been so much better than Billy Bob Thornton.

NEW YORK CITY?!

You can’t be responsible for your robot bashing actions when you’re lathered up on fight milk and riot juice.

“There’s a legit full-on health concern, and somebody broke into Blahblahblah’s car again! Send in Robocop!”

Athletic White Man Weekly has really gone down hill in recent years. Its mostly ads and the article quality has declined as well... infact it reminds me of this pop culture site I frequent...

I’m un-athletic and drink way too much but have the white male part down. Can I still join? 

The social compact has failed the homeless, ergo, they have no moral or social responsibility not to piss in our cornflakes. Should we want that to stop, we should fund the social services that would prevent it. But we don’t. So let us not whine about the consequences.

“There’s some icky homeless people and their trash over there! Send in Robocop!”

I am from Philly. Send your fucking robots our way at their peril.

There is something deeply ironic/dystopian/San Franciscan about an animal rights advocacy group using a robot to harass homeless people.

So today I read a headline that started with “anti-homeless robot.”