No offense to you fine people, but that linked 2012 story makes me nostalgic for the commentariat of old.

We get it, you’re white

I was born in ‘85, and I feel like in my lifetime I have seen at least 4 or 5 different things that should have ended Geraldo’s career or sent him into a shame-hole too deep to ever crawl out of again. Yet he has no shame, and people keep giving this goddamn cockroach a paycheck to make an ass of himself on TV.

Those coal based inks are a miracle.

You should also check out their other classics like “No Leap Till Brookline” and “Intergalactose”.

It’s a rap group, started by Ned Beatie.

Did people not know this?

I saw the headline and figured it was going to be some really weird reason that nobody would really think of because everyone assumes they’re to prevent homeless people...and then it turns out that it was the obvious answer that literally anyone who has spent time in big cities already knows.

Frankly, she looks more like an expert on the meth problem, but who am I to judge?

In today’s sad, sad world, having a lock makes sense. A lot of buildings put locks on all office doors because of people shooting other people at work, which becomes more difficult when you have to shoot out all of the office locks.

Oh finally, someone mentioned bands that they think are emo but aren’t emo. We’re really close!

Is this the part where someone says “Actually, Rites of Spring...” and then someone else breaks down Descriptive vs. Prescriptive Lingustics and passionately defends the evolution of slang and it goes back and forth for like five hours getting increasingly heated while some rando on the side rants and raves about Tell…

He’s right, and neither do like 99% of the people who use it.

When the news about Charlie Rose came out, one of my initial thoughts was, “I would have expected this from Matt Lauer, not Charlie Rose.”

D’root!

He will be looking for an angle to sell the idea to Trump supporters since a fair amount of them are of the basement dwelling stuck online 24/7 variety and it won’t bode well with them otherwise.

It would be super hypocritical of comic book fans to punish someone just for having an alter ego.

I wouldn’t want him to drink my milkshake. :(

Pass this tax bill! It’s my way or the highway!

He even comes with a red cap.