I’m so grateful for water resistant phones.

Dementia right? This sounds like every old person who can’t remember the conversation from last night.

They should’ve let him pitch, it’d probably help him remember what to look for as a batter. 

My brother scared off muggers once by busting out a window of a house. They had a gun and he was like I’m going to show that I’m the crazy one here. That guy looks seriously fit and if I were her I wouldn’t start running because if he started chasing he’d probably catch her. To say back off or I knock a mirror off…

Let me know when there’s a story of a guy saying Biden sniffed his hair and then I’ll concede that it’s not a gendered issue.

Well I know for a fact that those are not the first time he met Obama and Clinton; the last one is a woman who is clearly the one putting herself in his bubble; and you can tell by the body language that the first two opened up their arms for an enthusiastic hug. That is different from walking up next to or behind…

Jason Aldean wishes he wrote this song sooo bad.

Underappreciated

It is so easy to just say “would it be alright if I hugged you or would you prefer a handshake?” That expresses the affection you feel without actually invading someone’s bubble.

That full point was definitely the dealership mark-up which is why they want you to finance through them. You should’ve used that to negotiate a lower rate or a lower price. 

In my experience working at dealerships they take things in on trade and send it off to auction all the time. It’s usually just that they don’t think they have a market for that car and is nbd. But if a dealership buys from auction and sends it back within 2 weeks, I can almost guarantee that they put it through…

The only difference now is that people are learning to ask whether they can invade people’s personal space before they do. Men didn’t used to go up to men they’d just met and put their face near each others. Even the shots of Biden being touchy with guys is a lot of shoulder patting and close handshakes, not hair…

If I get a happy meal can I get the one with the cheeseburger? Because all I ever want after the bar from Mickey D’s is a cheeseburger and fries. Also, they better turn off the lights on the portion of the menu not available because drunk/tired people won’t be able to figure this out.

Of course everyone on Splinter is in agreement that prison is meant to reform people not make them into more competent criminals or lead to their injury/death. So I won’t bother restating how horrible the current system is at doing that.

crap you’re right. My ovaries are too small.

Can we talk about the fact that accepting a threat of filibuster is the democrats’ fault and they should make those old men actually stand up and talk until they can’t anymore? Who do we think is better capable of holding their pee and talking until they can’t stand any longer: McConnell or Pelosi? 

Is everyone who voted for a president supposed to get an invite to the white house???

Charlize,

That black outline note is exactly what I was thinking! It’s like someone didn’t finish.

What would someone who pointed out and protested racial injustice say about politicians pointing out and trying to fix racial injustice? Probably good on them.