Look, I’m all for giving balls to kids over adults but omg any kid in the front row at an NFL game is already sooooo spoiled!

39?!?! Nuh uh, no way. The only reason she’s not gray all over is because her 75 year old ass dyes her hair with yellow kool-aid NOT because she’s under the age of 60.

Wait who is that baby on Mason’s neck? Only Khloe and Kim have half black babies and they’re already accounted for.

I’ve heard of bartenders who have a little side hustle under pouring drinks and then keeping the cash on the extra drink they’ve poured.

I can’t stop laughing at this, I’m going to be giggling all day imagining an ESPN analyst using the phrase “failure-to-beat-out-a-slow-ground-ball-at-first-base hire” 

Lol no, I don’t I just figured it’d be there in this word for some reason. 

I can imagine Dump Truck having a stroke and being visibly paralyzed on half his body, even more demented than he is now and still insisting on holding onto office. I kind of like that idea....maybe our democracy could even recover if that’s how all this ended.

Oh yeah duh. I still prefer Illinosian.

Ah yes the profit that comes from not buying things we need or selling stuff to people in other countries, that makes sense!

Ok is Utahn pronounced you-TAWN or you-TIN?

I don’t believe that these were actually the personal hats of these service members, I’m sure there was a staff person in the back of the room handing them out. That being said I want someone to have him sign one of the joke ones if given the opportunity, I’m sure he wouldn’t notice it and then it could go viral on…

He voted for the additional funding?!?! So he just accused himself of being right there in line to kiss Hannity’s ring huh?

They got me with this one. I will be buying Corona over other summertime beers just because of this.

I tend to hold down on one side of the 6 pack and then just pull (kinda twist) to the side and up, not usually a problem. You get a little less leverage on the middle two.

those are one-time costs

If you wear toothpick thin stillettos like she does do you just have to let yourself sink into the grass like she’s doing with her left foot in the pic? When I used to wear them on the regular I remember tip toeing around yards.

I read that he takes pride in buying off the rack

Good to bad is a spectrum and Carter and Obama are definitely on the good half of it. So even for the bad things (omg drone strikes!!) there were a lot of good things that happened that we now realize were taken for granted as they were just things happening normally as they should. Dump Truck has made us realize how…

You should do valentine’s day decorations! Celebrate love all of February. You could even put them on your tree that’s still up.

I need someone to tell this man to his face in public that he’s a lying jerk.