That’s almost the ‘Well I didn’t make the bed cause it’s just gonna get messy again tonight’. Except his was actively much more terrible and paranoid. Sorry you had to deal with that. Such baffling logic/manipulation.

I am a woman of color, over 35 and small-breasted. He would not.

Oh the ways cheaters will rationalize their selfish bullshit while never taking an ounce of responsibility.

Hell hath no fury like a pubescent girl.

If you had told me five minutes ago that I could hate Trump more, I would have stared slack-jawed at your stupidity. But knowing he caused Harry, Liam and Niall even a second of discomfort? I am seething with a rage that will never be extinguished, not even after I empty my bladder upon Trump’s ashes.

This scandal has just reinforced that my decision to not let my daughter do gymnastics was a very good choice. 

My favorite one is “I cheated on you again because I was mad that you weren’t more upset about cheating on you the first time.”

Their egos might be to big, but I don’t blame them for being scared to go outside. Nothing is scarier than an obsessed 14 year old girl. Hence the hyena comparison.

Hooo, I mean, jackfruit may be funnylooking, but even that isn’t as scary as this!

Surprising answer, right? It seriously does not look like potatoes at ALL. I was positive the jackfruit guessers were right. This is appalling.

1Direction fans are the well-regulated militia we need andthe one we deserve.

Surprise twist: it was 30-year-old Ivanka all along. Probably.

Why is one of their members cosplaying as the Babadook

I’ve made some ugly food in my time— gourmet restaurants have served me some ugly food in their time, too— especially the French, what is UP with the French, why does so much extremely-delicious French food look like dog vomit?— but I’ve never encountered a tray of anything that looks like this.

I bet it was his daughter wife. He wouldn’t do anything for the other one.

In a study-induced procrastination haze I once devoted a full 3 hours (k, maybe more but w/e I’m not telling) to reading about 1D and its fanbase.

The only thing surprising about this story is that he did anything at all for the non-Ivanka daughter.

He said ‘well, wake them up’ and I was like ‘no’ and then he wouldn’t let us use the underground garage. Obviously in New York we can’t really go outside. New York is ruthless for us...So he was like, ‘OK, then I don’t want you in my hotel.’ So we had to leave.

Aw damn, you and my friend dated the same dude. He cheated on her at his boy’s bachelor party because (well, so he said) he was worried that she was going to cheat on him while he was out of town at said bachelor party. It was preemptive cheating, you see. She was like “... When you talk, make sense” and dumped him,…

Oh, the old “my bad behavior is actually your fault and really, you should apologize to ME” gambit. Instant classic!