Thanking god is a linguistic habit of mine, affirmed atheist though I am. It somehow flows better off the tongue than thanking the flying spaghetti monster or whatever.

If this was 50 years ago, I doubt she would have chosen to be black. Yeah, we still have a ways to go, but she just so happened to choose to be black when (a) things are running about as good for black people as they ever have here (low bar) and (b) there is some cultural panache to being black.

As a bald woman your use of “hair trigger” triggers my triggers.

All evidence points to an inherent pathology of lying to draw attention to herself. Everything from issuing a fake statement from her fake (black) father announcing he was going to speak at a local NAACP event (later saying he wasn’t going to be able to make it after all), to allegedly sending herself hate mail and…

People just don’t understand how hard it is to be a boring white person. Our struggle is great.

She planned the whole thing to upstage the bride. Taylor is very much in control of her image and I’m shocked you can’t see through it.

I am amazed your mother would let her kids in the car with that woman. This story was terrifying.

That he would just blithely hand the doll back after it had been in the litter box means that he kinda deserved that.

You manage to have fond memories over something that your mother made sure you and your siblings never felt scared about. Your mother kicks serious ass.

Went to Gettysburg when I was a kid with my mother, my brother, and my grandmother. My grandmother, who can’t drive for shit, drove the whole way and refused to let my mother take the wheel. So we were treated to her constantly stopping on the goddamn interstate to check and see if she had missed her exit, while cars…

I just told a Disney World story about headlice, but stomach flu is worse. Yuck.

Yes, but unlike you, I wasn’t scarred for life from the product of his puke. I’m too busy being haunted by the meaning behind the words, ‘silly pancake’.

I should add that we went to Disney World twice more: When I was 16, in 1999, during the Y2K scare. They were working on a lot of the rides because of the expected computer problems and we got stuck on a lot of them for extended periods of time. The cars would stop and they wouldn’t let you get out while the scenes…

Your mom is a rock star.

I am in third grade and we are on the way to Disney World. I am stoked. It is my first visit. This is a budget Disney World vacation scrimped and saved for by my middle class, penny pinching parents, so instead of flying we were packed up into the family mini van for two days of driving from the south Texas coast to…

Does it count if you didn’t fully realize it was awful?

I was about five years old. My mother decides to load four of us kids in the van and take us from Washington State to California, to go to my mom’s cousin’s wedding. While there, we were also going to visit her siblings and go to Disneyland and all sorts of fun…

Something similar happened to me, only it was my cousin, who for some reason was fed an adult-sized portion of port wine cheese before a long car ride (he was 5 or six). He fell into a cheese coma, rolled over on me, muttered ‘silly pancake,’ then puked up his adult-sized portion of port wine cheese all over me.

What is it about dads not stopping for bathroom breaks? It’s like a condition.

Summer of 1990. Ideasleepsfuriously’s family makes a scenic 4-day trip through the Rockies. We have no radio signal in the car and only one tape: my little sister’s soundtrack to The Little Mermaid. She adamantly refuses to let us turn it off.

Fifteen years later and I can still sing ‘Part of Your World’ in its…

It was the summer and we were moving from Phoenix, AZ to Chicago, IL. We drove in a mini-van with a broken radio. I was shoved in the back seat, re-reading the same books, unable to move much because my mother’s gigantic plants in their huge terra cotta pots were stuck back there with me.