I feel so sorry for Bobbi Kristina’s body right now. I hope they can find it in their hearts to let her go. That is no way for anyone to live.

Kurt Loder PLEASE comment on this Jewel tweet ala the same way you did to her poetry.

i love john moe, wonderful podcast host and king of twitter dad jokes

I can’t tell if they’re all boring af or if it’s just the cranky? Someone told me today that the cranky was coming from Mercury being in retrograde. I stabbed her with a thermometer.

I really hate everyone’s dumb tweets. Today’s a cranky day.

I said this last night on GT, but those last 30 minutes were so impactful because they highlighted just how fucking meaningless all the political bullshit south of the Wall is. Like, Cersei’s imprisonment and Jorah being friendzoned again and Sansa hating Reek and every other storyline just does. not. matter. compared…

“COME AT ME BRAH.”

I can’t be the only one screaming ROW YOU FUCKERS ROW GO GO GO

How many people thought badass Wilding woman saw one of her own deceased kids amongst that group of kid-wight zombie horrors? I thought she for sure saw her own offspring there. But it seems not everyone did. Is there a gender divide? A parental divide?

I may have yelled “WUN WUN!!!” so loudly I scared my sleeping dog. I regret nothing.

Show of hands if you’re pissed that the badass Wildling lady caved because of womanly feelings for teh babies. Fucking seriously.

Giant giant giant!!! GIANT GUYS A GIANT

if there’s one thing i’ve learned in watching game of thrones, if you tell your loved ones “i’ll be right back,” your ass is going to die, RIP, random wildling lady.

going for the “oh i didn’t see you there i was just walking off my boat in my fancy summer suit”

Re booty eating. ALL of my guy friends have started talking about this like it’s been the rage forever. Seriously, I hear them talking more about how they want to eat some chicks booty now than any other sexual act. I feel like a missed a transition!!!!

“It’s so much harder to find a woman you want to be great friends with than find a man to sleep with.”

I was mid eye roll when I clicked on that Mindy Kaling link because I was so sure it was going to be the whole “I’m just such a guy’s girl” trope...but I do agree with her, it’s harder to make friendships in general than just physical hookups. The older you get everyone already is so set in their friendship…

Meek Mill sounds like a sleepy English town.

Too many Kardashians, you guys. Too fucking many. I love eavesdropping on the lives of these vapid, idiotic, generally boring people as much as the next person, but for fucks sake. I think its time we have a one Kardashian per Dirt Bag rule.

After receiving the letter Ian walked to Dave’s house to return the letter and gave him a five hour lecture on how the mail system is a tool of oppression.