If it makes you feel better, she’s the child of billionaires, and will therefore grow up to be a horrible person.

Yeah, I had a 2000 Cherokee— with a manual!— that I totalled by hitting some ice and spinning a corner into a jersey barrier at only about 35 mph. My insurance decided they’d rather give me $4500 than do the bodywork, and since that was $1000 more than I paid for it, I took their offer. I really miss it, though!

I love the idea that people are yelling about this in bars.

Clean living and good genes for sure, but also a millionaire’s skin and hair care, and we might never see a picture of him without makeup and photoshop.

PBR is my go-to basic beer so I’m looking forward to trying Extra, but I’d be looking forward to it a lot more if their IPA hadn’t been so bad.  Good on them for trying new things, though.

I’ve never had canned pasta.

If it doesn’t smell bad, it’s fine!

Haha, yes. Did you ever go into a bakery or restaurant, and see, “ooh, focaccia!” and it turned out to be just a dry, dense, stale brick, with a bit of dried tomato on top? INFURIATING.

Just as a point of potential interest, and yes, completely besides the point of the entire article and everything in it, I do not think she could have picked a worse analogy. Speaking as someone who went to orchestra school, there is no way in hell a violinist of ANY amount of talent short of mind-reading could pass…

Pour sweetened condensed milk over a bowl of fresh snow. Instant ice cream!

Yes! I haven’t made pasta in a long time, but I used to do it pretty often. Occasionally, yeah, to impress a girl. I love fresh egg noodles.

Ugh, you people are killing me! The LC call number is right there on the copyright page!

This is driving me nuts. Belichick didn’t thwart The Future of Football, he beat the Rams. He had a great deal of help in that from McVay and Goff, both of whom completely froze up. I’ve been frozen like that, I recognized the looks on their faces. Your brain switches off, your body tenses up, you can act only on…

I’ve had it battered and deep fried, and it was just fine.

Maybe it’s the internet, and literally anything you say you like will be met with outrage and contempt.

We are going to hear SO much weird shit about Brady after he retires.

It was fucking terrible.

Turns out lemons that have rotted on the bottom but look fine on top smell exactly like a small, dead animal decaying somewhere in your kitchen. It can take you a very long time to get around to the bag of lemons, when you are tearing everything apart looking for a large, dead rat.

Hot take, get it: Tapatio tastes like nothing, and Cholula isn’t much better. If Marie Sharp’s doesn’t clean up it’s because not enough people have heard of it.

Hot take, get it: Tapatio tastes like nothing, and Cholula isn’t much better. If Marie Sharp’s doesn’t clean up it’s…

Right?  I literally lol’d.  Genius.