Few can resist the vaginal gravity well. That’s why women should avoid congregating; it could create a world-destroying uterine singularity.

“He said that he did fall onto her and his penis may have penetrated her vagina,” Davies said.

Is he capable of speaking without it sounding like he’s acting? I’ve seen more convincingly natural performances in high school theater. I know that all candidates are putting on a show to a degree, but his constantly cloying delivery is really troubling. I genuinely suspect that he’s a psychopath, in the technical…

Given everything that asswipe of an ex put her through she can post obnoxious pictures of this wedding forever as far as I’m concerned.

I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR THEM.

I suspect they just wanted to fire him and manufactured a reason to do it.

I know I shouldn’t be (as I’ve lived a long enough to have seen it regularly) but I’m constantly amazed at the mean streak and lack of empathy a huge portion of our population seems to suffer from. Are they lacking some part of their brain that allows them to put themselves in someone else’s shoes?

You win for Best Comeback.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

Dad when I was 15: “You could stand to lose a few...” I was around 135 then...and I’m 5’7”.

Obama’s troll level is fucking ACE lately, and I love it.

I wish he had hit the ‘out of fucks’ phase sooner. Lord knows he’s deserved it since halfway through his first term.

That quote is just about everything I want in politics. Actual plans.

It’s like he’s aged 20 years in the last year. I know it happens to all presidents but his seemed to happen overnight. Also, yes it would have been fun to see Obama run circles around Trump.

Holy shit I can’t imagine that experience. I hope karma burns that bitch HARD.

During a JOB INTERVIEW.

I cried reading Flowers for Algernon. No shame.

Why are you still here, Kasich? You are not crazy enough to be the Republican nominee. (Don’t get me wrong, you are super Conservative and a dumbass, but just not that special brand of kooky)

I can think of nothing more rational, in fact.

I hate everything mostly but when I watch these live blogs and these bitches are all witty and like able and cute my grinch heart smiles and I cry inside. What is a friend?