“It’s eleven o’clock: do you know where your children are?”

One of my favorite parts of last season is that they turned Steve around and Nancy ended up with him which goes against like 99% of any stories like these.

I fell off the couch laughing at him calling Mr. Wheeler a son of a bitch. Mr. Wheeler’s “our children don’t live here anymore, didn’t you know that?” delivery was also stellar.

I give out full-size candy bars because I want to be the amazing goddess of candy whom I only encountered once or twice during my own childhood.

Imagine you are driving down a mountain and there is another car a little bit ahead of you and realize its gotten dark so you turn on your headlights. Then the car ahead of you starts frantically looking back at you and speeding and then they pull over like they are waiting for you. They probably just hid until the…

I found a local Jeep Comanche on CL this morning, too

Super curious which story people thought was fake - was it the TA/stick-figure story? I actually bought that one, until the ending. Wasn’t obviously fake to me though.

This is the first year I had already read every story (but the emailed one) in the comments. I’m sad.

I did a little research and found that the tees (as well as the rest of the golf course) were in Uxbridge, Mass.  

 * again

The damage was caused by a pileated woodpecker, which, according to Audubon, is a beautiful species of woodpecker that is most easily identifiable by the scarlet crest on its head.

I don’t watch Denver TV but I am guessing:

That’s completely unacceptable. I don’t know what type of instruction or training that young man received at home, but he clearly needed to tuck his elbows in when throwing his punches, and snap his wrist in at the end to transfer maximum force.

Have you tried a Sea Bear circle? Worked for SpongeBob...

Biggest previous contract was $1.3M for a mile stretch of lines.

I don’t have even the foggiest clue what conditions are best for planting a gummi bear tree.

They don’t have a stellar reputation. Their biggest job was doing a mile stretch of powerlines in Arizona. They have been around for 2 years. I might hire them to rewire my house if I lived in Whitefish, might. This is bogus. Waiting for the shoes to drop.

Satan is wondering about the competition.

A crib is made of BARS, which shapes a fragile baby brain into believing that prison is inevitable. It’s been proven that babies who slept in cribs are 312% more likely to commit petty larceny, mayhem, and light arson as adults.