I don’t think I can top this tweet

Oh, Payless isn’t good enough for you?...

Ryan: Hahaha poor people.

After 21 seasons, the producers should be fucking ASHAMED of themselves that it has taken this long!! Its almost annoying that they are making such a big deal about the announcement, when it should really be a “Hey America, we are the worst. We’re really sorry. We don’t even deserve Rachel”.  

R.I.P. I Thee Dread 

First thing I thought of too*! She looks amazing, that dress is a million times better than B’s too... (yes, I said it, come at me Bey-yotches!)

skipped the article and came down here just to say HOLY CRAP CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SNATCHED SOLANGE LOOKS HERE?! She looks like a freaking ethereal post-modern fairy princess in that geo print dress.

Jay, let me tell you what the man at the Audi dealership told me when I had a toddler and was expecting twins, “Just go get yourself a minivan. There’s a reason minivans exist, and it’s for people like you. You will be glad you have it, and in five years you can trade it in for something else.”

Halle Berry*, for the last damn time, YOU HAVE TERRIBLE TASTE IN MEN.

There is something fucked up and mesmerizing about Melissa McCarthy’s deranged furious energy.

I need to turn off the internet because nothing else online will bring me the joy that this did. Outfuckingstanding.

TARAAAAAAAA

You’re thinking of the president.

Jesus Christ. One tiny upshot to this whole national embarrassment is that I now know, without a doubt, that I am not nearly as socially awkward and embarrassing as I thought I was.

Christ, he’s bad at this. He can’t even shake hands correctly.

Fuck yeah! American Heroes All!

forcibly turned away by protesters Friday when she attempted to enter a DC middle school

FROM THE SAME PEOPLE WHO CONSTANTLY BITCH THAT THEY HAVE TO PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH IN ‘MERICA.