On that note, when do I tell my parents what “truffle butter” means?

+International Date Line

Stopped reading at Frisco. You Big Apple folks, sheesh....

And lives in Cleveland.

How do you think SHE feels?

HE CANNOT NOT DUNK GUYS

I usually resort to presuming the worst about Stanford kids. 70 percent of the time, I'm correct in my assumption.

Chortle. +$1

Standing ovation? Hardly. All the men in the crowd were getting up to go change their trousers.

Hey, wait, that 3rd and whatever was a legitimate comment by a competent National Football League referee.

HO LEE FUK +1

Immediately after the announcement was leaked, a 28 year-old white hipster from Williamsburg placed an offer on Johnson’s home.

Hey, Ebola, take a back seat. Zika’s the new hotness.

He really lead us on with that one.

There used to be, but the air ate it all

Unlike another cam-related fall from high places, this one didn’t shatter a laptop.

Probably ended the same way as when I challenged Ann Coulter to a game of “Horse”

I knew that this happened, but I chalked it up as my upstairs neighbors wildly and rhythmically fornicating with one another.

No surprise, the douche should be directly aimed toward Charlottesville.

“Hmm. Playing for the Cardinals doesn’t sound so bad.” - Johnny Manziel