Being a fan of this team is shameful. Not shameful in the way that people submit to WYTS. We are shameful in the way that we not only feel ashamed to tell people we are a fan of this team, but we genuinely feel ashamed of ourselves for being fans of this team.

“And Suzy died so bravely, filming the very tsunami that took her from us”

... Unlock that door, and you may be headed to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the statue there, and you may move on to the Wave Pool. If you survive both the correctly functioning waves AND the accidental tsunami, it may lead you to the Pavement! From there, you must climb into the Ambulance and race to…

Design meeting:

“What should the failure mode be for the wave generator?”
“Nothing, it should just die quietly and stop functioning.”
“We could do that. Or.. and hear me out on this one...”

People... pay... to watch James Dolan... perform music.

“Stewart told reporters that Campbell had recently met with the financially troubled, scooter-confined former heavyweight fighter Joe Louis and that Campbell had told Stewart, “I don’t want to end up like Joe Louis.””

If there’s one thing you need to be good at to succeed as an OL coach in Miami it’s how to cut a line into shape.

That one hit home, and I’m not even a Giants fan.

As an Eagles fan, the absolute best Eagles games are when the Eagles play like pure garbage against an inferior opponent for the first 3 quarters of a game. And then pull it all together in the 4th quarter to win. You get all of the joy of booing and cursing for 3 hours. And then for the final half hour you get to see…

Daniel Jones looks like the actor they’d cast to play Eli Manning in a movie about Peyton Manning’s life.

Yeah but the Giants have to share credit with the Steelers for her accomplishments.

This fucking team released a hype video of its new quarterback completing short passes. That’s not just setting the bar low, that’s burying it — probably because they intend to let Eli run this team until he’s dead.

There was a buzz in the room—the product of a loud generator near the back. But there was an excitement, too,

Marky Mark botched the job.

Didn’t think I would run into a Ty Cobb Truther today, but here we are. 

How can you slag on all the awful shit Cobb did and leave out that he did 9/11?

Buddy, I can call Ty Cobb anything I want cause that dead mother fucker isn’t gonna do a god damn thing to stop me. He wouldn’t drive on roads paved by the Chinese. He hit Guatemalans with tire irons for fun. He tucked his weiner back at least twice a day because it made him feel alive.

WE’RE TAKING YOUR CALLS

Joule thief!