Trump is a full witch, though. I’ve said it so many times, the crap he spews is EXACTLY the type of fear-fanning rhetoric blasted during the Salem trials. He’s got his followers magiked into a daze. All that’s missing is a black ram and him swooping around on a YOOOOOOUGE broomstick.

I’m just not comfortable with the very real possibility of the Zodiac Killer becoming President.

This is literally the first thing I heard as I just tuned in: Marco Rubio wants you to know that because there are “two hispanics and a black man” on stage tonight that “the Republican party is the real party of diversity, not the Democrats.”

In truth, I need Trump to beat Cruz’s ass. I don’t like Trump at all but I actually fear the presidency of Ted Cruz.

Rubio reminds me of Lady Elaine Fairchilde from Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.

I work as a web developer and I am routinely around guys who smell like pee and have the social skills of socks. Would rather bang them than this assemblage of “human” parts.

It seems beyond crazy that from the 293 Republican candidates we started with this election season, we have come down to basically Trump, Cruz and Rubio. One of these terrible, terrible people are actually going to be up for the chance to become President of America.

I have never been less sexually attracted to a group of males in my life, and I’ve been to a ghost hunters expo.

Armchair diagnosis is dumb on like a dozen different levels I could name without taking a beat, but what I find most interesting is how quick people jumped to mental illness here when sometimes people are just egotistical assholes (I guess that’s a reflection of the destigmatization of discussing mental illness, if…

Kris, a good friend of mine is also in an imaginary relationship with Tom Hardy, and she’d still fuck him in the Revenant. I find your lack of commitment...disturbing.

True, but I'd bet the US still has at least a 2:1 asshole ratio over Canada.

This isn’t about their son. This about his feelings of control. Waah waah, I’m a giant baby and this woman won’t let me control her life!

As a woman that is also married to a fucking moron I suggest Kim embrace the ideas that she isn’t responsible for anybody’s actions but her own and that what other people think about her is none of her business. I mean, she won’t but I’ve put it out there.

I love watching videos of these critters unapologetically stuffing nuts the size of their heads into their cheek pouches. I want to do this with cupcakes, but I don’t think anyone would go “awwwwwwww.”

I looked like I was storing nuts for the winter. Coconuts.

He got Zellweggered!

I’m getting the Campbell Soup kid.

“Don’t invest in stupid shit like clothing lines if you have zero taste and artistic skill, and the clothes you design look like shit even the Salvation Army would throw out”.

If he weren’t the father of young children, I would not worry or care. He’s too old to be presenting with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. I think he’s literally just an idiot. But idiocy is dangerous to the children of idiots. Hopefully his wife’s app, reality show, and promotional work can support his young family…